Stop Pretending that Donald Trump is Not Running for the Republican Presidential Nomination

Marcus Mariota not having a white flag at QB was a red flag, am I right George Preston Marshall?

Replace Iowa State with Missouri, and I can easily see Kansas being the Team #16 in that scenario.

Joe Morton seems like a cool guy. If he’s not hot now, can he get emeritus status or something?

The fact that Miller High Life Light exists is proof that we live in an age where science is indistinguishable from magic.

Cereal box famous:

I heard he’ll eat up all your crackers, and his nose is big like a pickle...

When I was single, I only made the bed when I washed the sheets once a week. Even when I was going out, I’d do at best a quick pull of the comforter.

I guess she won’t be calling HIM a “thug.”

The Lenco BearCat LE (law enforcement) variant of the Lenco BearCar, which was designed for military use. I wouldn’t even go so far to say it was redesigned for law enforcement, so much as to say that the cops are buying slightly modified equipment designed for war.

I thought flasks were for the doorman and the carriage driver. Genteel men keep their liquor in decanters.

Statler, then Waldorf.

Zoot below Robin has to be a typo.

If ESPN wasn’t pushing him into being the next big thing, I could ignore him, but I can’t. If Skipper is really wasting valuable resources on a “non-entity,” that’s news.

That ball and the pen it was signed with need to be locked up in a vacuum sealed container before it becomes Patient Zero.

http://www.si.com/extra-mustard/…

Unless there's a Boy Meets World reference I missed, none of the sitcoms mentioned are 90s Disney sitcoms. (Only All That, a Nickelodeon sketch show, aired in the 1990s.)

Alternate Andy Dwyers

Dear World,

DOD is cool with Jezebel, but the Global War on Kotaku continues.