These are all unbelievable. But the most unbelievable of all was the guy who has a huge family, including a wife and two stepkids, but who also has three consecutive spare hours to play video games. THREE HOURS?!

It’s not the same because Chris Hardwick flat-out said they did NOT include Glen in that segment. If he didn’t say it, you could say it was ambiguous. But the fact that Hardwick said that means there was an actual conscious decision to NOT include him in there.

My wife and I watched this, and as we saw it, we both believed he died. As we watched the Talking Dead, she stayed believing that. I believe he SHOULD be dead. I think it would be some bullshit to be like, oh no, ha, he’s okay. (One of the guests of the TD, the showrunner for Leftovers, made the same point.)

Toddlers who love bananas. Toddlers have wonderful imaginations, but you have to guide them. When you give them a total blank slate, they’ll kind of just go with the immediate stuff. So for Halloween, you get into a discussion of all the different things they can be, and they start to run with it. But if you’re just…

That was my favorite part, as it truly captured the absurdity of it all.

I’m going to guess that guy just lost a shitload of money...

Drew Magary’s burner account. I love it.

So travel agents help you create a more customized, curated vacation. And, as it is their job, they are compensated for it.

If it was in Casper, then it had no noticeable effect on anything.

Stoner, who now plays for the Anaheim Ducks...

Boy, that would be really shitty if a big old American pickup t-boned him while he was blowing through the stop.

Something of a break...another break...another break...Time for a break.

I think one Jezebel writer put it best when she said: Nancy, what the fuck are you talking about please?

“It’s sort of Shakespearian, if you look at it: My fate rests in the hands of the Democrats,” Courser said late Thursday.

Am I crazy, or didn’t he actually start Anthropologie? I’d look it up, but...meh. Anyways, my wife told me that, so if I’m wrong it’s HER fault.

All Kim Davis needs to do is resign, and the entire family is free to be raging bigots, religious zealots, and get divorced and remarried however many times they want.

Oh god. Your avatar. You must be a regular here on Deadspin because of all that articles they publish about Illinois and their pure dominance of Big Ten football, eh? I’m a U of I grad myself, and I feel bad about how we just don’t give any other teams a chance.

“Oh my god! Oh my god!!!” [bell chimes] “ICE CREAM MAN!!!!! ICE CREAM MAN!!!!! ICE CREAM MAN!!!!!”

Or, perhaps, *throw* yourself out?

As an Illinois grad, I’m simultaneously delighted and sad at all the Illinois mentions on Deadspin so far this year (I count three, and I’m including the all-team survey). Nice to see them on here. But also, once the season’s in full swing, I know there’ll be pretty much no reason to mention them again.