I got 8 (!) games for shitting my pants drunk in the back of an Uber. I regret nothing.

This isn't a topic that I usually broach; especially not in a public forum. I lost my mother at the age of 14. Although she had struggled through a myriad of health issues for as long as I can remember, her death came suddenly. Finding out the next morning that she hadn't made it through the night, and that she was no…

Crab dip should win the whole thing.

Was Jack Dickey's American-cheese-and-peanut-butter sandwich the most disturbing thing of 2013, or was it the most disturbing thing of 2013?

As someone who is a half-Jew and is tired of the racial connotations in this country, just let it be.

I'm just south of Baltimore, and a couple years ago I was seeing a girl who lived in Edgewater. A lot of the area I saw was racially diverse and slightly affluent. I also have worked with some backwaters-type people from there. So, I guess on the surface it's changed a lot for the better, with some small bastions of…

Orlando police officers concluded after interviewing Hill that he drank that much alcohol in order to get goofy.

Orlando police officers concluded after interviewing Hill that he drank that much alcohol in order to get goofy.

That attack pigeon was the best thing that Donald Sterling stole from an underprivileged Argentinian since he took their apartment's electricity and running water.

Roch Kubatko is by far the best Orioles reporter. His blog posts are very well-written and informative, and his sense of humor, while dry, is excellent.

Fountains of Grain

"It was to tell you to look both ways when you cross the street, not 'don’t cross the street,' because you never know exactly where Donte' Stallworth is.".

'Wat is the Emnacitapoin Prawklomainot?" - Dexter Manley

I love reading your 'Why Your Team Sucks' features before the NFL season. My question to you is, what teams and/or players do you really can't stand? I know you're a Vikings fan, so I'm sure any NFC North team, but are there any surprises you have? Also, any team/player that you joke about but you actually like them…

Mati Te'o had a very different explanation for why he didn't score.

Well, at least Antonio Cromartie is trying.

Kroy Biermann later apologized to Tim, stating that "If you were married to Kim Zolciak, you would do some stupid shit too.".

Rex Grossman: (thinking) Man, this is awesome! I've been flirting with this girl for almost 3 hours now! The bar is about to close, though. All I have to do to secure certain victory is buy just a little more time with her. I know, I'll buy her a beer!

Parcells: "All I'm trying to say, Mike, is that ultimately I found it extremely disrespectful and rude! Nobody should do that to anyone, especially not to a friend!"

Steve Levy: "Coming up on SportsCenter, we tell you how Tim Tebow is inspiring his Patriots teammates to sign "virginity vows", Skip Bayless analyzes how LeBron James actually prevented the Heat from sweeping the Spurs due to his selfishness and non-whiteness, and Johnny Manziel's wild summer continues as he shows up…