A friend I work with got married this summer. Her husband has survived testicular cancer— twice— and they were expecting a long journey to starting their family. We commiserated in our anxiety and discussions of odds and expenses. They got pregnant on their honeymoon, and found out today that it’s a boy! My husband…

Not that it’s any of my business, but my mother had me at 40. Dad was 45. Older parents have mega perks too. I know she got a lot of shit from people for having a baby “at her age” but fuck those haters. My mum is bad ass and so are you.

It’s such a strange mix of emotions, hearing this news. Not for celebrities necessarily, but from friends— I am simultaneously over the moon happy for them, hopeful that another couple having trouble had success, and soul-crushingly devastated that I’m still not pregnant. An emotional Rubik's cube.

Oh simmer down. It’s a totally normal thing because as a couple you are both excited to be having a baby *together*. A natural expression of their love and connection and all that. I always naturally said “we” though all 3 of my pregnancies; during pregnancies 2 and 3 the “we” included my other children as in “we, as…

I don’t mind “we are going to have a baby” because yes, after the baby is born, they will both, as parents, have a baby. For similar reasons I also give “we’re having a baby,” a pass. But “we are pregnant”? Ugh. No. No, no, no.

Her stories are great. She reads an amazing story by Janet Frame on the New Yorker Podcast, check it out.

I’ve seen enough of Jason Biggs genitalia for several lifetimes thank you.

She does gush, but I thought the answers she got from Rihanna were genuinely interesting. That’s what I remember most from it.

Aw. That’s lovely for them.

She does seem really nice, based on just this interview, but awfully gushy. What did you think of her stories?

I feel like Victor Garber would be an excellent cook. And when you were down or had a bad day, he would go out of the way to make your favorite dinner. I don’t want to know if Garber is actually a huge douchebag because I prefer to keep my fantasy Garber in my heart.

I’ve avoided his so far and still it’s too much for one lifetime.

I’ve seen enough of Jason Biggs genitalia for several lifetimes thank you.

That actually kind of warms my black, little heart. Generally, I don’t really care about celebrity pregnancies but it always makes me happy when someone who is having difficulty getting pregnant is finally pregnant.

Well, that didn’t work at all. Let’s try this.

I hate to correct you, but Victor Garber is actually my fake husband. I mean, I’m willing to share, a little but ... in my mind, we’ve had our fake wedding, and right now, he’s cooking our fake dinner that he cooks every night.

This article is made 683% better because of Hamilton: The Musical

That’s a super sweet dad thing to say, but I’m not really feeling how he starts his post by noting a woman saying she won’t support (buy?) his book- given that his book is a parent’s guide to raising a successful child, co-written with Raven (and her on the cover). Unseemly book promotion.

Love me some Rashida Jones. I’d watch her paint a room.

Keegan-Michael Key! Oh, and Rashida Jones! Put ‘em together and I’ve got a steady date in January!