This is everything I’ve ever wanted and more in a GIF.

lol i think the OP knows that...she or he’s just making a little joke

I’m a fan of Torschlusspanik : the fear, usually as one gets older, that time is running out and important opportunities are slipping away.

I will absolutely take out anyone obstructing my way with one of these stupid things. I'm barely holding back on the pram brigades as it is.

Ah- it’s a serious girlfriend, I guess, a professional chef. She comes up in his standup (and he credits her with making him a feminist).

I totally agree about the “naive” part. Coming from a pretty healthy family, it takes some time to realize a lot of people have issues that are totally fucked up. I’m not saying healthy people don't also have issues, but they tend to be aware of them and try to work through them or adjust, etc.

This thread within a thread is everything. I also never knew I needed to know what Grief Bacon is in German, but I did.

Of course the Texas penal code outlaws dildos.

You’re fine as long as you don’t make eye contact with anyone while eating it.

You know, I feel like, “Massage Parlor Handjobs” is a legit reason to write a break-up album blasting your ex... And should be the name of the first single.

Meh. I’ve had annoying meals like that before. And honestly by #4 I would have said don’t bother because I couldn’t trust it at that point. It doesn’t seem ridiculous to want cooked eggs that are still warm on toasted english muffins.

I really think he'd make her happy.

Right!?!?! Also Aziz is a total lover of delicious foods and so is J. Law, I could only imagine the delicious feasts they would eat... Food always on my mind.

Dude I’d totes ship Aziz/ J-Law.

It’s very different. People using wheelchairs are using them as tools. You don’t see able body people using motorized wheelchairs for fun on the streets. If someone is going around on a wheelchair, it’s most likely they don’t have a choice. This device is needed to get them from point A to point B. HOWEVER, with the…

Motorised wheelchairs are allowed for the safety of the individual I imagine. Bikes aren’t allowed, Segway’s have never been allowed, its walking or wheelchairs only.

C trumps that, though. People generally ride on wheelchairs and mobility scooters because they otherwise would be unable to get from point A to B. These scooters aren’t a valid accessibility device, very few people with mobility disabilities could use them.

Have you seen the size of our ‘sidewalks’ in Britain? You frequently have to step into traffic to avoid pushchairs and couples who insist on holding hands and will not move into single file to allow you to pass. People would most likely push hoverboard users into traffic if they were allowed on the pavement.

motorized wheelchairs are generally a: Easier to control, b: slower, and c: exist for a valid reason.