That’s my mother’s exact hobby, which makes Christmas and her birthday a breeze on what to get her. It’s also my dad’s never-ending nightmare.

Hair dye on men is ok tho?

Wash it down with a craft beer, then go fly his new drone.

It does not take 6 months to understand where chicken sandwich ingredients come from.

Are we not allowed to learn to do better?

why do we want to shed light on the bad whenever a woman does something good? Why can we not support one another for doing good things without finding the most trivial reason to point fingers? Why why why, women? Lady Gaga was raped, like millions of other women. Do you think she supports rapists? Really!

Wait. Is this from the episode where Samantha catches Richard cheating on her? Because the episode after that is my favorite one. Specifically because of this scene:

Christine Ouzounian sounds like the human equivalent of Amazon feedback emails; you buy a three -pack of tube socks and you get sixteen follow ups on them. How was the packaging? How did you like them? how many stars would you give them? Would you write a review of them?

I’m pretty sure David Bowie could impregnate a woman with just the force of his piercing gaze from a dozen paces.

Anybody besides me remember when the 70s came back in the 90s briefly? It looked exactly like this. So this is basically the 90s version of the 70s come back to haunt us all.

did anybody ever invite him to play charades? he was probably waiting :(

I mean, he already shit all over Rhode Island so why not Portland?

It’s Curt Schilling!

Jesus. People have made racist comments to me at work (and still do) I simply have chosen not to FUCKING MURDER SOMEONE! I’m so disgusted right now.

YES I DEFINITELY KNEW THAT AND DIDN’T JUST LEARN THIS RIGHT NOW READING THIS COMMENT

At my favorite deli right after the lunch rush the owner (wife was front of the house, husband back) used to go around to each table asking if everything was ok.... while holding a big ass knife. It never got old, I swear.

*customer walks in and makes unreasonable request*

I waitressed at this really posh restaurant during college and Tom Cruise came in once. I didn’t serve him, but I did half- chase him through the parking lot for an autograph and he was super, super nice. Mark Wahlberg, on the other hand...I had to serve him, and I honestly regret not spitting in his soup

YES. I want to yell at them “I spent my 20s in paper thin leather sole shoes and look at me now, early 30s and I have to wear orthopedic shoes that even croc lovers would mock. Look at my shoes. LOOK AT THEM. THIS IS YOUR FUTURE!” Then I remember I’m unhinged and should keep my thoughts to myself. Seriously though,…