I had the puck to mouth too...still smile crooked from it. I also took a slapper to the head in high school, and it broke the helmet . A jagged edge dug in all the way down to my skull. I needed two layers of sutures to close it. I was out cold for a couple seconds, and as I came back to, my coach was taking my helmet…

"He probably shouldn't have taken his brother's bike."

Coach: Okay, we're gonna run a- Hey, why the fuck does our huddle only have nine players in it?!

Of all the people in this story who could have been named "Charade Keane," the homeless lady who helped him into the cab would have been my last guess.

ports Illustrated has laid off all six of its remaining staff photographers.

I didn't know we needed any excuses to do that.

The "Make-a-Wish Bowl". Granting the final wishes of dying football programs.

So... what you're saying is: success doesn't depend on who you replace Drew Bledsoe with, just replace him.

Button-up man
Button-up man
Doing the things a button can
Kicking some can that's the plan
Button-up man

"Part Deux"? What the fuck does that mean? You wanna fight, asshole? Let's go!

Best Fans In Baseball

0. -boarding list bloggers.

Corollary to this: a lot of the people that say "my parents beat me and I turned out great" are not such wonderful poster children for that theory as they seem to imagine.

The Vikings announce that Adrian Peterson will return to team activities to spend less time with his family.

Bowling is a college sport?

There's a college world series?

Don't sell yourself short Myron! Lots of people know you exist.

This never would have happened in my day.

God, those Russians are so incompetent. How are they going to get her to the hospital without a 3rd person to aim the slingshot?

Slow white guys find success by constantly jackin it?