"Well. I've always preferred to be on top. But I guess I could be open. Maybe? Just put me down for Not Sure."

That same old asshole looks awfully red for all the shit that comes out of it.

Whistler's Motherfucker

"I see absolutely nothing wrong with this entire situation."

Does not the Word deserveth to be higher? For in the beginning there was the Word, and the Word was with Stephen, and the Word was Truthiness.

What a Shitaye way to win.

Serious question. If they just replaced the DAK with D.A.K. and claimed the acronym stood for some random string of words (not entirely unbelievable for fans of either MSU or that duck show), would Dak be off the hook as far as the NCAA is concerned?

Excellent piece. Thanks, Matt. The subtyping from this year's H3N2 are so far equally split between the H3N2 "Texas" strain (used in this year's vaccines) and the H3N2 "Switzerland" strain. The Swiss strain was apparently used as an antigen in the Southern Hemisphere vaccine this year. Will that match affect the…

Kobe IS Sandy Lyle. Makin it rain!

Kobe Doin' Berserk

This will certainly go down as the seminal streaker photo.

"I AM CRUSHED!"

The London-Atlanta leg must be on Malaysia Airlines.

Pictured: Pretty boy, Floyd

Dear Ask A Clean Person,

I was searching for the deeper meaning here, but sometimes a dead horse is just a dead horse.

Are there any readers out there with moderate hair styling know-how who have access to tape of the Nov. 14. 1997 Super Show? Sugar Ray-Backstreet Boys, if that helps. Email us: frostedtips@deadspin.com

You can sue people for tricking you into drinking piss? You're mine, Anheuser-Bush.

Close on the old saying. It's actually, "Let he who gets paid by a sports channel to make predictions be able to tell the difference between a stone and a flaming bag of dogshit."