Keep digging the hole you’re in and you’re going to hit China-America.

Oh that’s cool. Miguel Sano just broke a lady’s face in an actual game. She’s sitting 466 feet from home plate. http://mediadownloads.mlb.com/mlbam/mp4/2017/05/03/1345176783/1493774152612/asset_2500K.mp4

While LaMarcus Aldridge puts up big numbers, he is actually butt. Discuss.

2017 Call of Duty: WWII

I know this isn’t exactly 100% relevant to this article, and maybe a weird place to take this stand, but...

Congrats to the most successful hatchling to come from Ted Cruz’s brood of glistening, chitinous eggs.

At this point, I want Westbrook to lose solely because everyone’s being such a raging asshole if you dare to suggest someone else.

Voting for Kawahi is like craft beer for pretentious NBA stat nerds, who for some reason need a reason to discredit an otherwise all time great individual effort by Westbrook, “This KawahiPA over here is just so exquisite, I don’t think i can ever go back to looking at basketball the same way” .... “Who even came up…

Holy shit mate give it a rest.

“I Call On All Civilized Nations To Join Us In Seeking To End This Infinitely Scrolling Blog Disaster”

She was robbed. Everyone knows the Earth was created in 6 days about 6,000 years ago. So 75 million years ago there was nothing. And the closest thing to nothing is....the Timberwolves.

“I’m sorry Mr. Westbrook but we don’t award the MVP purely because of spite”

Not all coaches are able to leave their team at the beginning of a season in a lurch, amid scandal, while handcuffing the administration in to hiring their choice of successor. Then again, Barry Alvarez is only bad enough to work at one school. Go Green, beat Wisconsin 4 times to win a National Championship, talk…

Maybe he can apply for a H1-B visa and coach soccer at Baylor.

After getting blue-balled by that flaccid trade deadline, NBA fans desperately needed a hot beef injection and this one really delivered a huge load.

Anyone who is complaining that a poorly shaped Pizza Hut pizza “ruined” their Valentine’s Day has an extremely different values system than I do.

“And so, in conclusion, it is my opinion that the third way to kill a mockingbird was the best of the book. The others seemed like they would be too hard. Thank you.”

One time, I forgot about a presentation I had in fourth grade. I didn’t research or read anything. Totally forgot about it for weeks. I did my best to wing it, but I only fooled the other idiot kids in the room, not my teacher. Every time Trump speaks, I hear that presentation.

*severely fucks up the part of my body my living is dependent on with a toy for children* im the most scientific mothrefucker out here libs