I was going to make a Friendzone joke but I kept reading and you preempted it!

The younger girls, agreed. They're only open to criticism qua representatives of the Kardashian brand, not personally.

It's called The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe Syndrome. We sufferers get Savannahs.

Oh, they're just kids. I don't blame them for anything. I was talking about them just as official spokespeople for the Kardashian brand. It's the brand I think is hypocritical.

Or maybe he just hasn't met the proverbial Mother Teresa with a tiny waist and huge tits yet?

He wants to settle down! After all, he said something like, if I meet a woman who looks like a pin-up but has a soul, I'll ask her to marry me.

I don't disagree — though not being proportioned like a perfect fuck toy is something women's bodies do "naturally" even when we're is not pregnant.

Yeah. But OF COURSE you're going to not be skinny if your body doesn't work that way. And OF COURSE you're not going to easily lose weight if you're body doesn't work that way.

So, it's only fine to shame non-pregnant women about their bodies, like the Kardashians have been doing FOREVER by endorsing potentially dangerous weight loss drugs, planting "how I got my bikini body" stories in the tabloids, etc., etc.?

Yes. I just turned 30 a few days ago, so I've been feeling that a lot. My current strategy is to think about what I can do so that when I turn 35, I'm happy with myself and what I've done with my life. That's a lot more useful than thinking about the mistakes I made in my 20s and where I think I should be now.

Shouldn't we ridicule anyone asinine enough to believe martyrs get 72 virgins in heaven? Like people who believe in the Garden of Eden?

Hahaha. I can't believe this little factoid about who gets those proverbial virgins wasn't all over the place during the insane middle-America-asks-what-Islam-teaches firestorm after 9/11.

Don't denigrate journalists by suggesting that Jez writers fit in that category. Of course it's a shitty website. It has been for a while now. I think at a certain point it became a hate-read for most regulars, and now typos, ungrammatical sentences, logical fallacies, pandering to the lowest common denominator, and a…

Hahaha. I should have written something clever like that, but I was in a rush because I wanted to be THE FIRST PERSON TO COMMENT ON THE TYPO.

Wow, that's a lot of anger over a typo!

In the lede role? Never.

That's Australian, right? And they haven't updated it? Wow. So a forced kiss that involves tongue is rape, according to them? Holy shit.

I don't know of any definition of rape where if I stick my fingers in your mouth without your consent I rape you.

There are local variations in the legal definition, as others have pointed out, but the FBI and the International Criminal Court, among other influential bodies, define rape as penetration without consent of any orifice if penetration is achieved using genitals, or of the vagina or anus using any object. So oral…

You're joining right before the new Kinja hits? Anyway, welcome! Enjoy the five seconds before you're disillusioned and realize that the commentariat is corrupt and the writers don't give a fuck about anything but pageviews.