I agree. My bf has a blank check on doing what he wants when I'm not able to meaningfully consent.

The guy being drunk is definitely an issue (holy shit! Mutual rape that we both enjoyed and want to do again as soon as possible!), but I think it's easier to try to understand it first from the woman's point of view.

So this sentence makes sense: "That rape last night was fucking amazing. I bought a bottle of vodka. Wanna rape me tonight? Please?"

What does "outweigh the risk" mean?

So there's the view that being super drunk negates consent, and if a man has sex with a woman under those circumstances, it's rape. I'm confused about this because I've woken up angry, "for fuck's sake, I didn't remember my own name last night, I'm not on birth control, I wish you'd given me a glass of water and said…

My cat's fine. I'm just paranoid. He's a caviar-eating, judgmental, bitchy little prince who I love as much as I love my boyfriend. But these animals are tough. One of my previous cats was a little guy I found under a vending machine in one of the nastiest, scariest parts of Seoul. He was all bones, cuts and howling,…

I don't have any advice, but lots of sympathy. I have this awful fear that things could happen, or are happening, to my cat and he just can't tell me about them (a weaker version of what I suspect the parents of a non-linguistic child have). Cats do tend to be incredibly resilient, though, and not hold the actions of…

Isn't this the same silly discussion that's been going on for ages? Wasn't one of the themes of Sex and the City that we can remake what it means to be an adult, that being an adult doesn't have to mean mortgages and credit score obsession? That a lady who loves shoes is no less an adult than a lady who loves babies?

I know it's kind of odd to just say "take my word for it" in a matter that's conceivably open to interpretation, but there is no instance in Lolita where Humbert thinks she is crying out of happiness and not despair. Nor is there any indication that he believes she gets any sexual pleasure whatsoever out of any of his…

The only time (in my opinion) there is anything that looks the tiniest bit like willingness is the first three rapes (or at least the first of the three) that morning at the Enchanted Hunters, and "I feel sort of romantic tonight" right before she leaves Beardsley (obviously not "willingness" in the sense of real…

"Raw. Real. Revealed." Ugh. The "documentary" is going to, at most, contain some innocuous discussion of her feeling this and feeling that, and struggling here, and struggling there, and then being true to herself and emerging victorious against "haters" and other mythical types. That is, it's going to confirm her…

I don't think that's the solution because people are always going to fuck drunk, as they should. It really is excruciatingly complicated. I think that a common mistake in thinking about rape is to think that it's the kind of thing there are necessary and sufficient conditions for. That is, x is rape if and only if it…

I'm sure people asked about this months ago, but... why aren't there time stamps that are visible when one looks at OT posts, so you know when something was posted and after that, who's around?

Ask them [mother, sister, daughter] "when was the first time a man assumed he had right to your body?" Yep. I love that she says "when" and not "if...when."

I have thoughts! The first is that my bf, ihateemo, does not do anything "as a woman." :)

You have my sympathy. I went through that about four years ago and still remember the stress. It's an awful fucking process, but kind of delicious in retrospect when you get in (and 16 is actually a good number).

How will any man love me now?

Baby! You are ruining my reputation!

Lubrication can occur in response to penetration even if the penetration is unwanted.

My impression was that Mentos was in collaboration with the Singaporean govt. http://blog.foreignpolicy.com/posts/2012/08/08/sex_rap_for_singapore