Mitchell is correct about everything he said. It’s insane that Gronk gets suspended for only a single game after going after a dude maliciously after the whistle ON A GUY LAYING FACE DOWN when that is the same penalty for a person making a football play going full speed. Also, a player aiming for the head is much…

A) You couldn’t have all the scores together at the end?

I mean, no offense, but if I see a 9-minute *porn* clip I’m like “nah, too long.” Nine minutes of pizza-eating-and-ranking video is about 8:57 too long.

In other words, if it’s in the refrigerator and you get a little film on it, then you just fry it and it tastes just as good.”

Everything you say here is right, of course, but I really am having a hard time feeling bad for Vontaze Burfict. He is SUCH a piece of shit, and he instigates so much. Look, if I spit at someone’s face in a bar, and then I get punched the fuck out, am I at fault? This isn’t “oh she was dressing provocatively she…

This dude’s name appears when you do the “Black or Mormon?” quiz at the highest difficulty level.

Alternate headline:

What do you mean “the season he has had?” Last year he went 11-5 while completing 63% of his passes, with 26 TDs (4.3% rate) and 16 Ints (2.7%). He was 6.7 Y/A and 6.4 Y/C, with Beckham (who averaged 13.5 Y/C due to his ability to break a slant for 80 yards) and had a 3.4% sack rate.

They’ll use those high draft picks to trade for even higher picks to pick a kicker.

John Fox then proceeded to challenge the field goal, arguing that it was, in fact, a 49ers touchdown.

Joke’s on you, Gould. This loss guarantees the Bears a better draft pick and I know John Fox and Ryan Pace will draft a way sicker kicker with that high first rounder.

He’s probably calling Tomsula so as to brush up on his hobo signs.

Why wouldn’t Eli play? Geno Smith is terrible. Let Eli have another start or two in front of the home crowd - effectively an apology from the brass for how this was all handled - and then give Webb a game or two at the very end to get a look at him in game action. Am I so blinded by my affection for Eli that I am…

You blew a once in a lifetime headline.

The Angles

Funny, Cohens aren’t known for running away from golddiggers.

If I could fall asleep at night as easily as my legs fall asleep on the can at work I’d never be tired again.

He’s 33, bald and weighs 270. He really is just like us.

yes