That tapping sound you hear is the sound of 100 political consultants deleting Gillum’s name from any short list of any important position in any potential administration.

And every hotel room comes pre-stocked with someone on the edge of ODing.

Crystal is a customary wedding present in Florida.

*Paging the ghost of Marion Barry*

Oh, that makes me sad. I have had to stop drinking more than one alcoholic drink per night, which makes happy hours a bit less happy... but weed=no hangover for me, so that’s a worthy sacrifice. I hope weed doesn’t turn on me when I hit my 40s.

You just need oil based lubes.

...are we sure there isn’t some 100-year-old guy somewhere we can get?

Let it never be said that Bernie Sanders is anything but a narcissistic sociopath. 

They seem to ignore that Latino is not a race and that there are indeed millions of white people living all over Latin America and who are as Latino as those with darker skin. When your entire argument is that Oprah is being ignorant (and she is), it would help not to be ignorant yourself. 

maybe hillary without penis?

If he’s running in an election, yes. It’s one of those things where you’re technically right but it leads to a news cycle where you defend and clarify instead of talking about your own policy, and you get zero upside out of it. 

“Biden/Harris: marijuana convictions for all!”

Yup, we’re gonna have white men in their seventies yelling at each other. I officially dub this “The Thanksgiving Dinner Election”

You have a good point, it is time for a couple beers.

It’s the White geriatric election.

Well...

You are a dumb cunt. Nevermind. I can see why no one votes for people you like. 

Excellent, very important point. The Democratic party is a fucking embarrassment.

Why are you blaming the country?  Democrats were the ones who didn't vote for her. 

No. Joe exceeded your expectations.