The “Sit Next to Stephen A” promotion did not go well.

“Gregorius lasted more than seven full seconds...”

Haha, I was worried you would and make my comment look bizarre

“No I’m not high or drunk I just want to play more football.”

This trend of not wearing socks in shoes needs to end. It’s disgusting, sweaty, smelly, ruins shoes, and nobody wants to see your man-ankles poking out underneath your tight-rolled skinny jeans. Unless you’re actually wading in water or on a sailboat you just identify yourself as a disgusting idiot.

Nah, it’s okay because Mayweather is a faggot from the waist down.

Shit, that was Rocky II.

He didn’t even have to use his AK!

Good for him. That’s all I’ve got. Everybody deserves a good day every once in a while.

Opponent schmonent. In golf a 3ft putt counts as much as your 300 yard drive. You have to focus on every single shot with ultimate concentration. Shoot a great score and you’re still doing that 65-68 times in one round. Then you have to replicate that over four rounds. If you factor in weather it’s very tough to…

“As the most mentally grueling of all sports”
I’m gonna call bullshit on this one. I’d accept golf or baseball.

Why is Venus so upset? Police didn’t say she was at double fault.

hot take: New Glarus beers are not good. New Glarus, especially Spotted Cow, is Wisconsin’s Yuengling.

I came here to say that Spotted Cow is overrated.

When talking about Chicago, Kanye West once rapped, "I met this girl when I was 3 years old." Odds are that the girl was shot over the weekend.

There were 82 private screenings of "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels" last weekend in Chicago. For 16 viewers, the price of admission was sadly their life.

In The Untouchables, Sean Connery's character famously said, "He pulls out a knife, you pull out a gun. That's the Chicago way." By that math, 82 people pulled out knives over the July 4th weekend.

They say journalistic integrity is dead in America these days. If that's the case, then journalistic integrity must have visited Chicago over the July 4th Weekend.

"It's hard to bargle nawdle zouss

"I am the walrus" - John Lennon. If Kurt Cobain were the walrus he would still be alive as he would not have had fingers to pull a trigger.