“it’s a gritty, tough, hard-working shrimp. The word that probably best describes it is tenacious.”

I make this same joke about my boss’s son-in-law who was born and raised in Ireland.

I’m not anti-Semitic either, but I’m starting to get pretty pissed that my wife won’t tell me where she’s hiding her gold.

it’s just a picture of legs that cuts to an image of a man standing in a burning house and he has a goat head and his eyes are the black of the void and then it cuts back to an image of legs with paint on them and then it’s the goat headed man and he’s closer to the foreground and I can smell sulfur and then it cuts…

I wholeheartedly reject this idea. The GOP has done nothing to warrant being treated by anything less than children. They’ve fucked this country up since 2001 and have brought it damn near to a standstill since 2009. They get nothing. They don’t get points for losing their campaigns and standing by this clown for so…

Really? Then maybe some Republicans will actually read it since it’s in their preferred format.

I saw this on the interwebs somewhere - not sure who it’s attributed to - but god damn it is spot on and worth a re-post elsewhere.

Even if they don’t, John McCain can still go fuck himself.

Well, according to 538, the Dems have a 72% chance to win the Senate so John McCain can go fuck himself.

Many people are saying those electoral number are rigged, folks. Many people. Sad!

Don’t blame me, I’m voting Meteor.

I don’t think you know what a beer belly is.

rimshot

Your move detroit

Thanks for stepping away from the gridiron for a few seconds to enlighten us, oh wise football sage. You fucking clown.

If he doesn’t want to get hit in the head, maybe he shouldn’t wear a helmet. He’s just asking for it when he’s dressed like that.

The Great Society and War on Poverty were actually going really well in a lot of ways until the Right dismantled them in the 1980s and decided to double down on the War on Drugs in a way that gutted inner city communities.

Did you teleport here from the 70s?

He’s been saying Dwayne Wade’s cousin was going to die? Shouldn't someone look into this?

Absent everything else that’s terrible about him, I just think we can’t have a president who’s stupid enough to think that tweet was a good idea.