Years ago one of my friends had a cockatiel who masturbated on his wooden perch every time I came over. He would huff and puff, and  rub his nether regions so frequently that he developed a little bald spot down there. I don't even like birds that much; I didn't encourage him!

My hubby was a volunteer firefighter for the Forest Service in CA, years ago before they adopted the name CalFire. They were told that one of the main ingredients in that fire retardant is phosphorus, at least in what they were then using: PhosChek. My husband, and many others, have been pelted with the stuff…

I always hated that scene in Starship Troopers where kids were stomping on cockroaches because they had learned that ‘insects are the enemy.’ I felt bad for the insect wrangler, though they were surely paid for the loss. And I felt bad for kids who were acting as though the bugs had intentionally done something to…

Dear New Zealand: please consider making a nationwide law that all pet cats must live permanently indoors, be microchipped, and that cat owners will pay some kind of fine if their cat is found to be outdoors. I would also be in favor of spay and neuter regulations that had strict registration and licensing…

Yeah. The world is so full of perfectly smooth, flat surfaces without creases, potholes, etc. that this will surely be widely adopted. Actually I predict that they will sell a bunch, because adventurers will want to make videos showing what happens when the square wheel meets reality. But...What if this kind of track…

Natural selection.

There are tick-borne diseases that are bacterial instead of viral. They can advance in the body very quickly, so if tick bites are suspected, it's common to dose with antibiotics first and read actual test results later.

Our language guidelines are an endangered system. Hardly a week passes that I don’t feel like telling some news site that they need to hire proofreaders; then I realize that if they cared they would have hired someone already. Frustrating. 

Look for Vital Farms eggs. They print the name of the producer’s farm on each carton, and on the Vital Farms website you can look up the farm and see a 360 degree video, with sound, of the chickens on that farm. They are all free ranging in pastures and big pens with grass, trees, and bugs. They are constantly on the…

Wear gloves, quickly treat scratches with antibiotic spray or ointment, and try not to breathe any dust around the pen. I know many places don’t believe in washing off the eggs; I wash mine in cool water, dry them quickly and refrigerate them immediately. Check chickens for mite infestations too; it may weaken them if…

I heard awhile back that it was possible to somehow poison or otherwise make a rhino horn unuseable and ruin its value. Maybe they at least did that. Doubt it though. Not much forethought in this bunch.

They were brash enough to believe they had this situation handled. Evidently there is no inspection or organizing body who would pre-approve the preparations for a huge, powerful, bad tempered, endangered, extremely expensive animal which was to be kept in a little quarantine pen for a bit until it learned to behave. 

Any species; zoos are a concept whose time has passed.

A car, any car, traveling on a narrow street should be going much slower than it probably was, so that it could detect children in its path. When we drive 30 miles to town and it’s getting dark, we drive slow enough to see and avoid the deer, turkeys, antelope, porcupine and raccoons. Slowing down makes a much better…

Yeah, because medical care is so cheap, readily available, and fast. Srsly, all ERs/Urgent Cares/hospitals are challenged nowadays with large numbers of people suffering from viral infections, among many other things. 

Surely the same effect would happen if people get connected to something this amazing. Instead of waiting till later to upload or download, they will be likely to think up a lot more things to get or send online, because now they can. Increased capacity would create its own increase in demand. 

Clever hack. But: trouble at airports and stations? Buy a very cheap watch that you kinda hate. Set that one to other people's time. Choose clothes so it will remain hidden until you need to refer to it. Good luck. 

Many of us have trouble trying that! I know; 'there is no try; just do!'

Okay, I'll agree with Santa's Workshop, and I do hope I never end up next to any trees that include the Demogorgon, Merle Dixon, or the Crappy Christmas pile. But the rest: you really like to overthink things! Haven't you ever heard of Seasonal Trees? I currently know three decorations fans who truly keep redecorating…

Trees take water, already scarce. Young trees also make tasty snacks for herbivores like deer; I can picture a huge increase in the deer population because all those little trees were planted without deer-excluding fencing around each one, and no one has been assigned to monitor the health of the groves. Deer already…