About the only credit you can give the Suns for last night’s game was their official reaction on social media.

“I’ve never seen somebody score so effortlessly”

History is vital. You did the community a great service.

Fun fact: “White Yoda” is my nickname on the basketball court

I don’t imagine you meant this in an angry political way but it’s true.

This is the total shitshow the NFL deserves and absolutely the one it needs right now. Papa John’s being involved is the icing on the cake. …or the “garlic” sauce on the “pizza”. Or whatever.

All I know is, if I had that kind of dough, I’d be too busy driving my Lamborghini made out of cocaine to my private lake filled with whiskey to be mad about anything.

Further proof that we shouldn’t just assume that rich people are smart or even good at what they do.

Imagine being as obscenely wealthy as Jerry Jones and STILL not being happy with the way things are going.

I would pay legal American tender to see Stan Kroenke get into a literal slap fight with Jerry Jones.

Now remember this. These guys are labeled as “smart” because they have a lot of money. But your average professional team owner is as dumb as the meathead in the gym.

You brought up “dead, flaccid wieners” without mentioning the Browns. Impressive!

This is what happens when a bunch of old dudes want to get in a dick-measuring contest, but no one wants to actually drop their drawers and show off their dead flaccid wieners.

Five points from Gryffindor for not providing a standard “two things” response.

*faps dead away*

*faints dead away*

A three-way with oneself is the perfect symbol of the Millennial Age.

Whoa. Wait, what?

People know there’s porn on the internet, right? Like, a ton of it.

And for just about the hundredth time, I’m crying from laughter at one of your articles. Consider this cover acknowledged.