I prepared it as I bathe.

I am a big supporter of solutions to problems that involve building a moat

Were their grade schools too damn cheap to buy globes? How does anyone in 2017 believe this shit? I can see people doing this to troll others, but the ones that actually buy into it?

I was driving in the Mojave yesterday and I met this guy! He’s pretty cool and defiantly interesting to talk to.

Here is our 12 year old Labradoodle Sandy!

My name is Otto, and I love to get blotto.

It stuns and baffles me that some men are so clueless in this regard.

This might be because of regional differences, but the correct answer for here in Dallas is 1:30 PM.

You know what’s delicious? Challah bread and good chocolate.

Absence really DOES make the heart grow fonder. Everytime my husband and/or kids are away I miss them like crazy. Then they come home and I’m like “WHY DID I MISS YOU YOU ARE SO ANNOYING GO AWAY.”

I have long thick hair that takes forever to dry so I read my Kindle while I’m drying my hair in the morning.

PBSKids is a god send.

That is an amazing way of putting that particular choice. Really, coffee or a snack is the CHEAP self-care method.

One time I lived in another country and I was so poor that I couldn’t afford a dollar for a cup of coffee at a cafe. Ever since then it’s been a special thing that I do for myself.

If I don’t buy the coffee, I feel sad and buy the shoes or $50 worth of makeup. SO I CAN SPEND 3 BUCKS NOW OR $150 BUCKS AND THE $3 EVENTUALLY LATER.

My husband has told me a few times recently that “coffee shops add up”- motherfucker it’s not as if you’re taking me out to the steakhouse or anything, these are important mental health coffee shops.