Hello Mudda

“There was a false start by Dallas DE DeMarcus Lawrence, a penalty that was declined”

Needs more Astros hats and DJ Screw. Other than that, a very Houston celebration.

that was my thought exactly.

How is this supposed to stop that selfish asshole from being late?

I award you the island of Manhattan for this comment.

Thank you sir. I should probably get a life.

Redskins Win Super Bowl

I love this series. I’ve enjoyed every entry. Just wanted to say thanks.

“Those bastards in Bristol are ruining everything,” Palin continued. “I’ll be babysitting every weekend ‘til I’m fucking 75 years old at this rate.”

“Now...where was I on the ESPN thing....oh right, Curt Schilling...”

Outstanding, this comment is literally why Kinja exists.

Fine, I get it. You win, Burneko. You have two boys, so you can write something perfect like this. I have two girls and I’m reading reviews on Amazon for leotards.

Those groups are usually divided by the age of 30.

Very disappointed in you, Burneko. I mean, subtle plagiarism is one thing, but lifting your title straight from the Ford Field home locker room walls?

Rihanna has had enough experience with filthy wife-beaters.

It’s easy to explain! You see, when a mommy and a daddy really love each other, and the mommy dies, and the daddy shacks up with a woman who looks just like mommy, but is actually an evil clone of mommy, they have a baby that is infected with a techno-organic virus which they send to the future to save him from, and…

Nah. This was a simple case of “this old bull sure looked smaller from 60 feet away than he does from 5!"

Probably not the reaction anyone expected from mixing acid with some bases.

Love to shred the pow.