Marry me. I’ll let my current husband know your wit won me over.

Every cloud has a silver lining. Except for mushroom clouds. Those have a lining of caesium-137 and strontium-90.

Yeah. I should know better by now.

If he did that, I’d be afraid that China might set up us the bomb. :O

You know better!

Thank god something was done, because we can’t trust Trump to critize his bromance fantasy boy Vlad.

Stupid me went to The_Donald subreddit.

Once he gets the proofreading notes back from Putin’s office, I’m sure it’ll be something along those lines.

I hope she makes it to 100+ and hoping Trump doesn’t make it to 71

I’m waiting for him to tell China that all their base in the South China Sea are belong to us.

Okay, there’s d-amphetamine, l-amphetamine, and pH-dependent amphetamine—it’s been 15 years since my last brain/drugs class. Am I missing anything?

I’ve got good news! The last three things on your list are only happening in your head, so you don’t actually need to feel disgusted about them.

As an IT professional, what the actual hell does this even mean?

Nope, LGBTQ romances and documentaries.

“I think that computers have complicated lives very greatly. The whole age of computer has made it where nobody knows exactly what is going on.”

What he said was basically like a 5th grader trying to give a book report on a book he’d only read the first 3 pages of.

It means your grandmother who keeps calling to ask why her computer’s cupholder isn’t working anymore is as technically savvy if not more so than our president elect. Also she’s likely better at stringing together coherent thoughts, and has better grammar.

It will force his hand. If he does reverse it then it will be obvious that is cares more about Putin’s fee fees than he does about the American democracy.

T Minus 119 minutes to this tweet:

Ii’s like all the states are pregnant with little versions of themselves.