I really hope they didn’t post this headstone on findagrave.com.

I don’t even want to bother with that. I always tell people I want one of those $5 funerals mentioned in Catcher in the Rye - “shoves them in a sack and dumps them in the river.”

I’ve been luckier - Two beers + six hours = gay guy who the next day thinks he has an excuse.

“But hey, the little Suzuki/Geo/Pontiac put up a valiant fight.”

That’s flatbread toast.

Back then, Chevy knew better than to bother with fake grilles.

Too late. I’m up to Page 1800 on notalwaysright.

And Catherine O’Hara and Joan Cusack as the older female customers.

Joanna Lumley as Allergic to Crunchy.

April Winchell as her equally spunky manager.

Or Will Ferrell (which might make me forgive him for Bewitched).

I’ve never walked out on a film, but I came VERY close to it watching - of all things - the John Landis movie Schlock! (the middle is pretty dull and the theater was nearly empty; it’s better with a crowd). I really wanted to flee 50 First Dates but I was with a friend who would have thrown one of his snits if I did.

That offense would have to extend way back; Schultz had the characters doing Ford ads in the early ‘60s.

Yep.

I keep this piece as a response to dubious fund-raising requests.

Answer: “There. My fist wasn’t so hard now, was it?”

I heard plenty about it - I was just out of high school (and just dealing with coming out) when it happened, plus one of the high school teachers in my nearby hometown was abducting and sexually assaulting young men at the same time (Richard Lindwall - he only killed one, “accidentally”). I’m glad I left there when I…

You mean, “There is no steamship like a book.” ;)

Well, her girlfriend wouldn’t have...