Why vodka?

Whisky helps me rest just fine. Vodka makes me angry, and tequila makes me un-afraid of the police.

Start here. Reverse image search for the homepages of these and find your niche.

yeah but then i’m the third wheel at my own place! does she have a sister?

New song title: MOTHERFUCKIN’ PARALELLOGRAM SPRINKLES

I’m 32. Mom is 53 with some not great neurological.. stuff. My sisters (useless) don’t care about anything that isn’t themselves. I couldn’t tell you how many of those cookies I’ve fucked up over the last decade, but I’m sure she appreciates the help and company.

It takes me 40 minutes to get there, but I’ll be there…

I know. It’s so much better and so much more versatile.

no i am not down with americana like that. i meant have beer next to me while i do the work so i have someone to talk to instead of hosting my cooking show for the dog and crying into leftover risotto.

i can’t watch kung fu while cooking anymore. i cut my fingertip 3 times on the same spot last time that happened. i…

you should come over this weekend and make tamales with me, then get ripped on moon cabbage and have tea and listen to Kasabian’s first album on repeat while watching kung fu movies on mute

for some reason, miss lady doesn’t see that as tantalizing

I can’t be sure, but I posit it is a conspiracy wrought by BIG ARTERIAL PLAQUE and Team Pancreas/Thyroid to keep me from dying.

Walkers shortbread. I buy 4 of Costco’s 5lb tins every Christmas. They last until early March.

I recognize that this is a problem.

I have a huge crush on Salvatore and I don’t care who knows it. It takes me forever to read a book these (I used to get in trouble for reading too quickly in elementary school, despite retaining all information so now I read slowly and find myself sort of CMD/CTRL+F through pages for anything useful) but there’s…

my mom is a cookie person. have you met cookie people? they are INSANE about decorating. if i’m visiting and she asks me to go to Michael’s or a bakery or anywhere that there is cookie decorating related paraphernalia i make sure i bring like, the icewind dale trilogy with me. she would do this and make something like…

Plus your lobster sucks!

MA resident here. I buy PF before I buy anything labeled “fresh”. Everything “fresh” has been on ice or frozen at one point. Save your money.

Current winter boot: LL Bean Men’s Storm Chaser

Current winter boot: LL Bean Men’s Storm Chaser

That sounds like an editing mistake. There’s just no way they can be that foolish.

That’s like 2lbs of mushrooms in a dutch oven and they want them added after everything else and then brown the mushrooms. Where the hell am I going to do that? Do you not understand how much liquid will be added and how much it will…

My beef with SE is over poultry. I am salty about the salt content of a certain chicken recipe, I’ve been trying to tweak it every week for the last month and.. I’m getting there.

How would you use an immersion circulator for sex with a Turkish whore?

I’m working from home today so I’m not my usual “think about something other than work to keep your mind off of how horrible work is” self, but a slightly involved thought did occur to me.

We got about 18" last night (HEYOOOO) and there’s more on the way next week. I just want to hibernate until June.