As a father, I would like to add a few things in no particular order:

I am one of those people that melatonin (and to be fair, all serious forms of sleeping aids, either on label or off label, from vicodin to ambient) gave extremely vivid dreams. I was having trouble getting to sleep from teaching-related stress. The melatonin gave me vivid dreams that led to me breaking two fingers…

I didn't even know Andrews did Lap-Band.

If I can add my two cents with my moving experience...We had to move most everything into a storage unit after our closing fell through an hour before closing. We had to move a whole house into a 10x30 unit. The movers did an incredible job but that we had to move into a tiny apartment while our house was back on the…

I contend it was Seth Meyers’ treatment of him (which was devastating, by the way) that got Trump into the political game. I was also really impressed by Cecily Strong. Over/under on how many Hilton jokes tonight?

Someone threw a little chlorine in that draft pool

I had a “hospital admission for three days” bout of food poisoning two years ago so my definition of “mooing” has become pretty relative:) I’ve become pretty gun-shy since.

I had a “hospital admission for three days” bout of food poisoning two years ago so my definition of “mooing” has…

Same pic in 2017. I'm so sorry.

I have a version from about 18 months ago. It’s great for my wife and I because I prefer steak still mooing and she loves it hockey puck. I can grill fairly well (went to an amazing Steven Raichlen week long class 7 years ago) but it’s really nice to sous vide nice steak to 145 and then just mark mine on a searing hot…

I have a version from about 18 months ago. It’s great for my wife and I because I prefer steak still mooing and she…

How many Acts Enabled him to earn that yearbook entry?

Except that the Mets are a recurring joke here and LOLMETS.

Well, if Ra was a sun god, then maybe Rajai on the Mets is code for Sun God meets Meteorologist.

One on hand, $4,800 for windows is preposterously low but $1,000 for a sump pump is crazy high. I’d love to see how less than $5k for windows is an average.

Again, the private company is allowed to maintain whatever politics and policies it likes. Your argument is with them, not me, friend. All I’m saying is that this happened.

My father is a doctor. A few months ago there was a guy who had smoked pot and then applied to a job position at a well-known “Orange and Black” big box home improvement store that has a strict no-drugs policy. (No judgement - they’re a private employer with clear requirements that are conspicuously posted) The guy…

My uncle, an Illinois State Police Trooper, says that about one-fifth of the people he pulls over yank a radar detector down as soon as he pulls behind them. In his (paraphrased) words, “They can hide the detector, but not the outline of the suction cups on the windshield.” Yeah, you’re not getting any leniency with a…

When I worked at a mobile electronics store, I can’t overestimate the amount of times I said “It’s a radar detector, not a police detector” and I equally can’t count the number of returned radar detectors I got because “I got a f^%$ing ticket because of this thing”. Yes, if you are going 90 in a 40, you’re getting a…

I figured since the Astros switched leagues that the Cubs were done with the Killer Bs.

If I wanted to throw up grapefruit flavored liquid I would go back to being 7 and eating my grandmother’s horrible brunch in Key Largo.

I feel like these could be interpreted as the same movie...