You nailed it.

What these people think I do (as a high school social studies teacher): “Give me your minds! I will implant ideas about kibbutzes, socialism, and solar energy! Hahahaha!”

I was told by a circuit court judge once that, “I’m sorry” can be used as an admission of guilt. He told me to never, ever say, “I’m sorry” after an accident.

There’s a great bit from Mike Birbiglia’s latest Netflix special (No youtube clip specifically but the special is called “What I should have said was nothing”) about how he was T-boned in a rental car by a drunk and he ended up having to pay for it.

Jimmy John’s Unwiches are great and have few/no carbs depending on which vegetables you pick. I order online and can customize the veggies and meat precisely without holding up the line. JJ’s are pretty common in most of the country, reasonably priced, and fast. The lunchmeat has lots of salt but I think that is the…

In this case, I know EXACTLY how this person acquired and attained their money and paid for the undergraduate degrees and overseas dalliances of the author based on my experiences at the Latin School. I’m not going to say more than this but there’s more than you know.

I’m sure it helped having ultra-wealthy parents who were able to subsidize and finance all this additional education from a safe and protected house on the North side, huh?

It might be only be me but at just about every concert I went to (DMB, Phish, Blink 182, Mellencamp) I saw someone getting a HJ in my near vicinity. Did I just have a weird experience or is that a thing?

I’m just waiting for the shot to be declared somehow invalid...

In fairness, the only reason I learned it as “b, a, SELECT, start” was because my family was poor and I always had to play it with my more fortunate friends who could afford a system. The other kids always just learned it as “b, a , start”.

There is an audio retelling of Stephen King’s The Mist that used binaural sound. It’s at least 15 years old and it is absolutely terrifying. Binaural audio really works for stuff like this.

Amen...hot people are there when you want them. Kind people are there when you didn't know you needed them.

Any time you are feeling insecure about yourself in a relationship, give your partner a compliment. Your genuine affection for them, and their (hopefully) resulting affection for you back will help render whatever insecurity you have moot and will build a more loving, communicative, and happy relationship.

The ominous red stripe on the wall...stand clear, my friends.

I did...and so did my parents, my in-laws, my brother, my brother-in-law, etc. And because they’re checks, not coupons, the warehouse clubs take them! I didn’t know the part about being due sooner...interesting! Thanks!

Dip the slices in coconut milk right before throwing them on the grill and they're really something.

I totally should have added that as additional savings! We got on the mailing list for those coupon checks and I had a few coworkers do the same thing so a $32 container of Similac drops to $27. The price per oz. can’t be beat with those things! Since they’re technically manufacturing checks and not coupons, the…

I bought a 34 oz container of blue-top Similac today for $32 at Sams. The cheapest I can find it (not Prime) on Amazon is $39. It is even pricier than that at Wal-Mart/Target, etc. At $7 savings per container, and considering we go through about 2 containers of this a week, it pays for itself quick. I didn’t buy…

We belong to Sam’s and between Similac and diapers we save a FORTUNE over regular dept store prices that the $45 is nothing. I highly recommend for new parents using disposable diapers and formula.

My wife subscribes to Star and InTouch and never reads them and they’re goddamn weeklies. They’re like ants...whenever you kill one it seems like two more appear.