A group of my friends decided to buy inflatable rafts, grab a cooler of beer, and float down the river drinking last week on one of the sunny days. I was sick and really needed to study, so I passed.

Ah. True. That's great for you, but my finals week last week with so much sunshine and my start of summer this week with so much rain doesn't help me at all.

I'm drinking gin and ice. Which is delicious.

When is beer not gorgeous???

Gorgeous beer.

I think God owes me like a straight month of sunshine by now.

I'd put Columbia in that list, have you seen their annual Ms Universe entries?

Okay, come on already, New York. More rain? Are we kidding?

I've always had a soft spot for Sunderland, particularly during the Roy Keane era. They're a good, scrappy side with quite a few talented players, and I love Kenwyne Jones. Plus, Sunderland came out to play the Vancouver Whitecaps during the summer back in the Mick McCarthy era, which was fun.

I hate to tell you, we all already have accents. If I could change my accent, it would be to a classic British accent. Everything sounds better with a British accent.

Nah, Hull and Newcastle/Boro are fuckups enough that you've got no worries. You might be the only Sunderland fan this side of England though.

As soon as you removed your head from your girlfriend's anus?

Question to all the footy fans: If I were to start looking for a team to follow as a fan, when would be the best time to do that?

Heh. Eddie House can get his hands on balls.

Wow. Okay. I was furious for a minute there before I realized that next week is the season finale. I'd been thinking all night that it was tonight.

And that was the worst CGI ever.

FYI, unlimited breadsticks.

Would it make me a bad person, having never seen an episode of the show, to watch the last twenty minutes of the show for shits and giggles? Will any of it make sense?

So "Lost" is going to end tonight by giving me an aneurysm, correct? That's the only place I see this going.

Stay out of my city, you hicks.