Gotta say, I fucking hate when people Tweet to the world stories that tell you that you're not using Twitter the right way.

It mostly comes down to that Americans, in general, don't understand science...or history...grammar...mathematics...personal finance...political science....international relations...the rule against perpetuities....Twitter...I'm going to stop now.

1. Whether or not you're on a fucking boat.

I've found this site to be fairly helpful in staying up to date on developments in the swine flu epidemic:

It was great what a fuckchop.

Okay, I've got my Property final exactly a week from today, and now that I've had three martinis, I should probably go to sleep. Night, all.

You hate him too much... It has to be more than the seat thing

You've only made Colombia higher on my list of possible grad schools. You should go sit really close to him and try and get his number and share it with all of us.

Ha, I beat you to my own mockery by one minute. You guys look good in Carolina blue, by the way

Beat me to it.

How did he get into Colombia? I thought he flunked Mr. Kowchevski's math class

James Franco sat in the same spot you did. That's good karma, I'm sure of it.

Wait, you know James Franco? If so, I hope you constantly remind him how good he was in Fly Boys.

I would give up anything for James Franco

He was in Spiderman. He's got a right to that spot.

BUT WHAT ABOUT JAMES FRANCO?

oh shit... does this mean you get out of finals?

And joy of joys, we've got swine flu on campus now.

Big deal. What's her VORP?

Are these people crazy.