The budget was also seen as a victory for Democrats because it lacked nearly every cut Trump wanted to make—including the ones to Planned Parenthood, the NEA and Public Radio/Television. It’s a pretty sweet win for a supposedly weak and out of touch Party.

money that Donald Trump thinks will be used to build his nightmarish wall, but will really be used to fix a tiny portion of it cover his travel expenses for one fortnight.

Would love to see a Hillary sketch similar to the one where Obama had an anger translator.

The current President has 5 kids by 3 women and his two previous marriages ended due to his serial infidelity and he pretty clearly wants to fuck one of his daughters but it’s Obama getting turned down for a marriage that’s news.

I watched her speak today. She looked poised, made self-deprecating jokes, referenced facts, and used words above a 3rd grade reading level.

Right?! He likes smart, powerful women. Who doesn’t?*

Every time someone mentions Hillary, I remember when I used to have such hope. And then I die a little inside.

Exactly! He wasn’t trying to weasel into the Kennedy family! (Probably a good call.) It seems like Barack just knew he wanted to be in politics and wanted a partner who was smart and talented. Scandal.

reveals the apparent political calculations framing his romantic choices; before he met Michelle, Obama had proposed to Sheila Miyoshi Jager, now a professor at Oberlin College.

Wow. Margaret Atwood was exactly right. Men really are afraid women will laugh at them.

If Jeff Session prosecutes somebody for laughing at him, I should be on death row.

Hillary: I take full responsibility for the mistakes my campaign made. Also, there were external forces that shifted the final vote.

You might snark at Hillary with your “quotation marks,” but if you look at the numbers before Comey’s unprecedented actions (not to mention all the fake news Russia was peddling on Trump’s behalf)...she ain’t lying.

This is all I can say right now:

lol, thats trump level creepyness

I’m poor, old, not into music festivals and probably wouldn’t know an influencer if I fell over one; yet, I cannot get enough of this story! I hope the Bahamian government weighs in again!

Re: The cheese sandwich and undressed salad - I am convinced that that is not actually a salad, but dressing for the sandwich. Maybe the festival goers were supposed to kill the swimming pigs with their bare hands and make their own BLTs.

I really want a job as an influencer. I recommend fruit flavored seltzer water, mixed breed dogs, never wearing shoes with Velcro, and Fun Dip Lik-a-Stix. Does anyone feel influenced? Give me a dollar.

This never gets old.

Yeah, a friend of mine when I was a kid was part of one of those weird churches. I was a Baptist (since reformed), but even I was shocked at how... Weird her situation was. She had to wear collared shirts, long wool skirts and knee socks all the time, even when it was super hot outside.