“This close, it does not count in Russian horseshoes.”

I remember hearing a 9/11 conspiracy believer say that someone say demolition trucks leaving the twin towers before they fell. Yeah that’s makes sense, lets have trucks labeled demolition, leaving the scene of a crime. 

I’m sorry to disappoint you, but that’s just not going to happen.

Russia has no time for losers.

I personally believe people are vastly overestimating his drive, motivation and staying power. He’s not running again in 2024, in fact I’d say it’s even money that he’s not even still alive by then. He is not going to shrug this off and re-tool, it’s going to haunt him and eat away at him for the rest of his life. On…

We’re supposed to care how he feels?

Don’t let the door hit you on the way out. Oh and bad luck avoiding jail.

A hilarious and scornful death to the Trump Crime Family is well deserved.

Something that drives me nuts about Trump is that he somehow manages to be one of the greatest grifters of my lifetime, yet he is so bad at it that it is clear that he is that by accident. Like I don’t that is possible. It’s like when he was just a business man when people were constantly bailing him out of failures,…

I think you mean all sentient life forms hate him

Richard Hasen, a noted elections law specialist at the University of California, Irvine Law School, told the Sentinel that all of this is “deeply stupid.”

The only way Trump can hit 270 is if he loses 80 pounds.

Arm the Juggalos.  That’s all I’m saying.

I mean, I think you’re right, but these are the same people who’ve been promising the South will rise again for the last hundred years and just end up passed out in a pile of empty beer cans. Despite the ridiculous number of guns they’ve accumulated over the years, I think the military can take them. The first thing…

Unkind to turtles, Anderson. 🐢 

It’s so fucking weird that he’s as scared he’s lost as I am that he’s won.

Yeah, yeah. Okay President Sun-down, we know you want more, but the buffet is closed now, so, yup, move along now. That’s it. Buh-bye.”

We now cross live to the president for his response to the election results:

The GOP has massive amounts of evidence of voter and election fraud based on a collection of tweets and Facebook posts.

Samuel L. Jackson working his magic in 15 motherfucking languages! That is a serious incentive right there.