We had cheesecake as the groom’s cake. It was literally the only thing my husband requested in the entire wedding planning process, but when she heard it, my mom was like “ummmmm, cheesecake is more expensive....” She and my dad were paying for the shindig, so I couldn’t be like, “mom, don’t be a bitch,” but I was…

Oh, okay, sorry, I was confused. I broke down and finally watched the movie on tv a couple of months ago. Should have stuck with the book.

That book was from the POV of the nanny.

You need art. Rooms always look kind of naked and unfinished with nothing on the walls. And this has been a message from the Totally Untrained Design Enthusiast.

It's the best! I never liked to wear skirts or dresses because of chub rub, but thanks to body glide, my summer wardrobe is 75% skirts and dresses.

I’ll pee with the door open in front of anybody, but poop is a different story. I can’t do that with anyone around. The only time I can take a decent dump is if there’s nobody in the house. Which means I won’t take a good shit until August when all the rugrats go back to school.

I call my dog my sweetest baby boy all the time, and jokingly call him my favorite child. But when my friend regularly tries to tell me that her two dogs are just as much work as my three rowdy human children, I want to slap her upside the head with my flip flop.

Dog moms posting mothers’ day messages to the moms of fur babies. That's the most annoying and ridiculous.

Run tracking is the worst! Except for the ones that have absurdly inflated calorie counts. You walked 1 mile in 20 minutes and you burned 350 calories? Were you carrying an elephant??

I’m in my mid-30s, so my Facebook feed is nothing but pictures of kids. And that’s fine. But my favorites are the ones that manage to keep it real while posting cute pictures. A couple of weeks ago, a friend posted adorable pictures of her kids picking strawberries, but the caption told the true story of how it lasted…

Yes, because the show is completely outstanding. And while I’m fairly “meh” on Taylor Kitsch, I am head over heels for Tim Riggins.

Flowers are fine. My husband usually gets me a bunch of pretty tulips for valentine’s Day. But today is our 12th anniversary, and he took me out for a fancy burger topped with a fried green tomato and pimento cheese, and a trip to target sans kids. It was awesome. Flowers are lovely, but I prefer to be wooed with…

I watched that movie last night! You get all the gold stars.

I'm perplexed by this as well. That's definitely the Smith kids, but also definitely Lisa Bonet. Unless Zoe Kravitz is a carbon copy of her mother?

My best friend’s douche nugget ex-husband told me he was planning to propose at my sister’s wedding reception. I told him if he even thought too hard about it, he should be prepared for my mother to swoop in a kick his stupid head right off his stupid shoulders. He didn’t propose, but he did catch the garter and…

I ugly cried at my rehearsal- could barely get through the damn thing because I was such a soggy mess. But on the actual day, I was all smiles and manic energy (and a tiny bit stoned).

I love ambien! I don’t eat weird shit, but I occasionally online shop. So far I have bought 10 ironic t-shirts (at one time), Princess Diana paper dolls, a leg lamp, and a vintage dollhouse from the 50s. No regrets.

The Girl on the Train. It’s a quick read, and very dark and twisty. And God bless you on the two year old. They are not easy. Sweet and cute, but not easy.i have an 11 yr old and 7 yr old twins- it gets soooooo much easier!

Who are your your Facebook friends? Because I have yet to see a single person supporting Josh Dugger, and my Facebook feed is littered with southern conservatives.

I just kept putting my oldest back to bed. As little talking as possible- just “it’s time to sleep, we’ll talk in the morning.” Some nights, I swear I herded him back to bed 20 times. But eventually, he stayed there and stopped getting up.