Elias is 15, and uses the term “YOU BEAUTIFUL PIECE OF JESUS.” I am ashamed at my own lack of accomplishment.

My favorite Ms. Franklin work, by far:

Check out 1:38.

You guys are so funny. EVERYONE knows the best pizza is from California.

I’m unworthy.

Man, the lobbying efforts of the Emu expatriate group, “EMUlate ‘32” have really paid off. If Cuba had emus, Havana would already be part of Florida right now.

Why, thank you! Now, if you’ll excuse me...

Nope, Bark is a real person. EDSBS liked to refer to him as “Our Steampunk Emperor” back in his LSU days, and Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe (who’s a big NFL fan) named his fantasy team “Barkevious Mingo’s Mum.” Most tellingly, dude earned the NOTY 2009 Name of the Year.

Actually, the Terps have run pretty clean programs, esp. compared to the Kansases of the NCAA. But there is reason for worry right now, as the FBI is taking a pretty long look at the hoops program for possibly being involved in the same recruiting and player-payment scandal that has already cast a shadow over…

Ah. Gotcha. And if it’s any consolation, I understand about being a fan of a team that has a lot of morally compromised history... I’m a Terrapins fan.

Was...was there supposed to be a picture there?

Er, a correction to my post above: The Fightin’ Whites were formed as an intramural basketball team at the University, and were (are?) separate from the school’s official Men’s NCAA basketball team.

A quick heads-up: The University of Northern Colorado men’s hoops team was way ahead of this shit. In 2002, the NA-heavy team (which also had white and Latino players) voted to rename themselves the “Fightin’ Whites,” often reported as the “Fightin’ Whities” (they eventually cranked out merchandise featuring both…

Hey, McQuade! I’m right there with you in choice of artist—my walk-up music would be Tomoyasu Hotei’s Russian Roulette. It’s a hell of a “Go! Go! Go!” song:

she’s not a vampire.

Well, that depends on if the IMF has just sanctioned Wick’s dog or not.

Dude!  Loved your cover of Ball of Confusion!

I seethe with the need to expunge the apostates of the Skyline Heresy with flame and fork!

Call me an outlier, but Peanut Butter Crunch and Crunch-Berry Cereal have always been my favorite cereal milk flavors.  All hail the Captain!

This is embarrassing, but I’m going to come clean here: When I read this article, my first thought was “holy shit, Delino DeShields is still in the League? The guy’s gotta be older than Bartolo Colon!”