Be blessed.

Q: How crazy did shit get in Philly when the Eagles won the Super Bowl?

Those final two paragraphs of yours, Mr. Harriot...

Beautifully delivered.

Someone should tell Trump that real Gs move in silence. Like lasagna.

Unfortunately for me, the Global Jewish Conspiracy won’t allow me to get into stand-up.

like a blind man playing darts...

I agree with pretty much everything you’ve said—everything I understand, anyways. But “Green Lanternism?” Is that a fear of being politically yellow? An inability to use the most powerful weapon in the universe for anything other than bulldozer shovels, protective bubbles, and big green hands? Having one’s…

Carter Page could try to steal 3¢ from the “take a penny, leave a penny” dish at a 7-11, and end up making $20 million in Bitcoin disappear.

Oh, I just drive my wife to and from the meetings. But I am in charge of making sure she has the updated secret password for every meeting. So, for Tuesday the 12th, at you know where, the password will be, lemme see... Ah! It’s “LOL, Rolphe.”

Like, does she thing MILLIONS of women get together on the regular and agree on an “official position” on each topic?

Here’s an “all too easy” clip the Daily Show put together showing exactly why Page is the guy you want to have a crack at, if you’re a police interrogator, a lawyer on cross-examination, or a poker player:

Boston in general is number one.

I looked her up and couldn’t believe that she’s 47.

Ninja Rocks: A genuine piece of forbidden technology that I must not, CANNOT even mention to my 8 y.o. niece or troublemaking 10~12 y.o. cousins.

Fuckin double standard in this country is getting WAAAAAY out of hand.

Life called him, and he answered magnificently. God grant that, if I ever face such a call, I can answer with a tenth of his heart and will.

Pinche Damon Young, man. Now every time I watch a clip of Tyronn Lue coaching Matthew Dellavedova, all I’m going to see is Fred Sanford roasting Rollo.

It’s deliciously kharmic and undoubtedly just that the legislator/harrasser introduced to us in the article Arizona Representative Who Described His ‘Genitalia as a Gun’ Offers Non-Apology literally had his gun confiscated in the course of his expulsion.

This article has some (rightfully) heavy discussion going on, so please allow me to offer a moment of lightness for everyone who loves Sexy Sax Guy: