Laws do not exist to protect everyone. Miscegenation laws, Jim Crow laws, and “religious freedom” laws that allow a restaurants to deny service to a hand-holding couple that happen to be of the same sex can hardly be said to exist for the protection of “everyone.”

Yeah, I’m pretty sure Sitzpinkler’s (seriously, that fuckin’ name!) point is that, via Watters’ argument, he should believe that Furman’s cartoonishly extreme racism makes OJ’s guilt an impossibility.

Er, read Sitzpinkler’s (oy, that name!) question again. I think you missed his point. Furman’s under-oath racism didn’t change the fact that OJ can find the “real killers” in a bathroom mirror.

Well done! Now, just sprinkle a generous amount of the following words to crank up that “translated from the Chinese via Google Translate” feel:

Fascinating stuff, once again, from our man Torch. Sure, Brock was tragically gullible. But remember, you’re reading this in a day when you could lay out $250k right now, on the promise that in 2 years, you’ll receive a car that goes from 0 to 60 mph in 1.9 seconds, has a top speed of 250 mph, and will take you 244…

I have no idea what Epcot’s security is like, but stealing any liquor from anywhere while on a HS outing is damn impressive.

I’ve got to raise an eyebrow at you saying that you steal anything from Target on the regular. Maybe their security policies have loosened up a huge amount from way back in the 90s, but I’ve always understood Target to be pretty maniacal about inventory shrinkage. I’ve known more than a few people who worked there,…

Until I was in my early 40s, I conflated the turn-of-the-century Italian opera, Madama Butterfly with the late 19080s play/early 1990s film, M. Butterfly. I was extremely confused as to how a male actor in the Peking Opera managed to have his heart broken by his American lover’s betrayal after bearing his child.

But, Lord, you are the alpha and omega, and being that you are the only one in heaven or on earth who pledged two fraternities[...]

The sentence, “PuddingPants has thinking meats” should never, ever run through anyone’s mind.

Your dad seems like a good man.

“Once a knight, always a knight;

I hear you, but the complete lack of suicide notes from retired MMA fighters begging doctors to examine their livers post-mortem, coupled with the dearth of former UFC greats shooting themself through the heart, so as to leave their livers untouched for research really lessens the grimness, you know?

Style question: How is one supposed to indicate a single multi-word concept, mid-sentence, if quotation marks are only to be used for direct quotes? The only other way I can think of might be multiple hypens, but for someone who already uses too many of the little buggers (see above), that’s a daunting option.

Nah, fam. Rabbit Tabler was a Lepi smuggler from Coachelle Prime, who first appeared in issue #8 of Marvel’s first Star Wars comic, in November of 1977.

I honestly think that you’re overlooking the healing power of revenge. Morally just, conscientiously infrequent, and ruthlessly executed revenge can definitely bring about emotional closure, while actively discouraging the same sort of fuckery that necessitated that revenge in the first place.

You’ve taken the facts and distilled them down to the truth, because your comment is sharp. Like, rolling ball of butcher knives-sharp. Sliver of shattered Corningware casserole dish-level sharp. Hell, even Kerry Washington’s cheekbones-sharp, which is the sharpest anything in the universe can be, according to…

Honestly, I’ve asked myself what I’d have done if it had been my GF who had gone all pyrocephalic, but in a situation where I’m free to try to help—and without a quart of tangerine-flavored proto-diabetes to quench the fire. It always comes down to the realization that I’d be pinwheeling my arms, trying to slap the…

The following is a public service for my fellow “trapped-in-the-‘80s hoops-fan” brethren and sistern:

Yup! Social Justice Warrior beats being a Status Quo Paladin any day!