Whenever someone calls me a SJW, my response is usually along the lines of “I’d rather be a Social Justice Warrior than a Status Quo Paladin, like you.”

Holy shit, I just replied to a comment from OldSparty, where he had asked “did anyone see this kid coming?” I answered with “nah, dude’s like Rey from The Force Awakens.” I was tickled, because that meant that Oklahoma = Jakku. But now that you say this, I’m thinking Steph is Rey, and Trae Young is that kid at the…

Nah, man. Dude’s like Rey in The Force Awakens.

Also: DAMN, that is one amazing Kinja handle. Like, it’s up in the stratosphere with Karate_Explosion and very few others.

My dad had seen a friend of his suffer horrific burns at a luau in the late ‘60s, when a tiki torch somehow ignited the guy’s polyester shirt, and I heard that tale a lot growing up. As a result, polyester wasn’t really a thing in our house, clothing-wise, and if I heard the word “polyester,” the words “fire hazard”…

I feel you, man. The smell of burning hair is whatever the term is for the exact opposite of an aphrodesiac. If her parents, her grandmother’s dachshund, the toothache-inducing sonic assault of the room’s smoke detector, and a quart of tangerine-flavored corn syrup hadn’t sent my own sexytime story into cascade…

And to this day, Prince’s guitar is still flying up towards heaven.

Heh. Absolutely true story. It’s the late ‘80s (this is important), and I’m with my long-term GF (about my age, 22/23 or so), in her bedroom at her folks’ house. Sometime about midnight-ish, rowdiness starts to happen, and the GF is pining for some candle-play. So the tapers come out (we were duly diligent, so they…

Growly, grumpy, and easily the best human being currently associated with the NBA. If there have been two figures in the Association that one could unabashedly admire, both as professionals and as quality people, one of them absolutely has to be Pop (the other one, of course, being Brandon Roy).

Somehow, I overlooked this article for a year and a half! Tom, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I didn’t put in a good word for the man who played the Octagon’s main villain, Seikura: Tadashi Yamashita. While he never managed to shake that thick Okinawan accent of his, the man was a martial arts marvel, a…

Russian Women’s Hockey League + All-Star Game + Kazakh pop music + the Carlton Dance = A tiny, but significant force for good in the universe.

“The families of victims on death row, we made them a promise and they’re being denied justice.”

And Alonzo Mourning isn’t exactly what I’d call a frivolous talker. If he confirmed it, then it actually happened, IMHO.

I came up in the ‘80s and did my dirt in the ‘90s. And even I knew enough to be infuriated to the point of apoplexy when Janis Joplin’s (Oh Lord, Won’t You Buy Me a) Mercedez Benz was used to sell...Mercedes Benzes.

Airtight Jordan

Kawauchi, a man who ran 12 marathons in 2017, and who has run sub-2:20 marathons 76 motherfucking times, all with no sponsorship, no training group, and no coach, quoted here in reference to himself:

Dollars to Theranos shares says that Ngakoue remembers exactly what Incognito said (whether it was That Word, or a another, different, stupendously racist slur), but that he isn’t repeating it because he wisely wants to avoid the issue getting bogged down in endless parsing and faux-clueless takes, courtesy of the …

A large number of my Jewish friends, acquaintances, and co-workers have referred to themselves as “members of the Tribe,” so I’m pretty sure it’s not a Daily Caller-only term. More likely, it’s an example of the conservative tendency to latch onto newer terms of self-reference endorsed by the groups they dislike, and…

Alford defended his comments on Monday, telling reporters from the Wichita Eagle that an advocate for legalization at the weekend event was “the one that brought the racial part in.”

My soul has not even a tenth of the poetry needed for me to express just how deeply I am moved by the phrase “delusional crotchfruit.”