Yeah, but Kyokushin has a lot of out-step openings before you guys activate that forward power step thing, no? So, not a lot of side-to-side, but a wide arc of possible angles for that second step/attack. And by then, it doesn’t matter, because you’re a goddamn freight train, just plowing through shit. All the…

Yeah, but Ariel could have made a fortune exporting forks from the surface and importing them as exotic combs.

Hah! Shorin-Ryu right back at ya, Isshinryu bro/sis!

After the depressing inevitability of the previous story (another woman’s testimony about monster Larry Nassar acting monstrously), I embrace the corny pianola sounds of soccer failure in the Women’s Championship League wholeheartedly. Thanks for the chaser, Mr. Haisley.

You think you can just Swaggart in here and talk like that? You might have a bit too much self-Osteen, my friend.

Goddamn you, Michael Harriot! You’ve got me spitting my 7:00 am vodka out of my nose.

Is irony diabetes a thing? Because I think I’m having anatttdjrd7 ludyrztlbusgpIn

BTW, your Jedi Knight comment was fucking HILARIOUS. My brother-in-law and I recently broke the news to my 5 y.o. neice that “mermaid” was not really an eventual career option. She was *heartbroken*.

Good question. She performed a beautiful ura-giri, a spinning back kick. I have no doubt that she was aiming for my stomach, and she’d have hit it except...I had recently learned that if I lowered my stance and performed a two-hand punch (zero memory of the name of the move, but it’s the penultimate move in most…

Hey, just wanted to let you know that I’ma try making my own batch of bagoong Ilocano. Picking up the ingredients this weekend, including the shrimp and pompano that I’ll be fermenting for 2~3 months, so I won’t have anything to report until February—my deadline is the day the Black Panther releases, so I won’t have…

Hah! Fair comment.

Maybe they don’t make you puke, or maybe I’m just terrible at choking back the nausea. But I’ve absolutely had it happen to me, and on a hardwood floor, no less. I was 17, sober, and trying to do everything I could not to puke, but it went nutshot, instant collapse, everyone (including the brown belt who kicked me)…

Thank you for accepting. You didn’t need to do that, and I appreciate it. I’ll exercise greater discipline with my salt-cannons going forward.

Oh, it’s worse than that, my friend. We work at a Renaissance Faire.

I was a fucking idiot, and responded to the wrong person with my salty post. I apologize to you. You didn’t deserve that. Any disagreement over whether I glorified domestic violence (and I think it’s a legit disagreement, as I was prolly too flippant in what I intended as praise for a technically super-impressive…

Every summer I lead an improv-based free-range comedy troupe. We do lots of physical things, and I can absolutely confirm that pinwheeling arms are the spit-take of physical gigs. Comedy fucking gold.

My argument that an accurate strike is worthy of respect?

Understood! I cry three times for every listen-through:

Yeah, Ja Rule and Ashanti doing “Helpless” is the perfect inverse of the equally perfect fantasy of having George Washington Tardis to 2017 to give the (a-MAZING) Chris Jackson a night off, and play himself.

Here’s a starter for you!