Holy shit, I forgot about the non-compete bullshit! I retract any allowance I might have made for personal taste: Jimmy John’s is horrible.

Hm, no team loyalties either way for me, so... How do I decide which side to support, trolls from Georgia, or vandals from Florida?

Curious: Bad employees, or bad sandwiches? Because while I can always forgive the former, the latter can shape a lifetime of opinion. If you don’t like extra oil & vinegar, and aren’t fond of condiments, I can sorta see JJ’s being okay...as long as you got your sandwiches to go.

Your comment has inspired some great Kinja.

Jimmy John’s sandwiches are the worst this side of Subway’s, and you can at least visit Subways without a bunch of ass-headed self-motivational posters yelling at you from off the walls. Jersey Mike’s for the win, baby!

Weird comment: You should play the Exalted tabletop RPG. In game lore, the universe has secret masters and rules-keepers, like the Sun (good-guy champion of perfection), the Moon (mysterious lady of mutability), and the literal embodiment and father of all treachery, lies, and spite (the Ebon Dragon)...and within a…

I saw both Breakin’ and Breakin’ 2: Overused Nickname in the theaters back in the day, and I honestly did not remember Shrimp looking that...predatory. Thank you for hitting me over the head with the Brick of Subtlety that I apparently needed to figure out the obvious.

Totally earned. I’ve already linked to your quick-wit response in comments on other stories, as an indicator of the quality of Kinja going around today.

Brilliant! Between Trump’s new point man and this, there’s some great one-liner Kinja going on today.

I wish I owned sockpuppet accounts to give this more stars.

Aw, snap. Kim Jong-Un says shit just got real, son!

It really is the “fuck you, pay me” scene from Goodfellas, every time.

This is good Kinja.

Tornado, Schmornado. Clearly, the SUV, the trailer, and the trash can were all square dancing.

Seriously! My wife’s the Anglophile in the family, but The Crown sucked me in with it’s combination of political intrigue and emotional deconstruction. It’s a great series, and I can’t wait for the new season.

Whoah. I want to see this in the next season of “The Crown” soooo bad now!

If he really looks like TD, I guarantee you that you wouldn’t have been the first patient to do so.

“Erotic Poetry Slam” has just got to be an unreleased Prince jam, right?

My old instructor would probably have a stroke dealing with all the things Roger is “doing wrong” in this video.

This amazing highlight reel just hits home what we all know: If soccer announcer Ray Hudson had chosen tennis, his heart would’ve exploded years ago.