Whoof. You’re not kidding.

This is great “take (microscopically possible, but) silly news seriously” writing. For a taste of Haisley’s “take silly news non-seriously” writing, check out the “Eat Shit Real Madrid” post linked above.

Dude, is that Teddy Bruckshot from Shottas?

I prefer to call them “thick ERAs.”

But the big hair is beloved by the pupperazzi!

Series of mirrors.

Shit, he’s mistaking Genesis for Exodus. It’s not like he was Kareem’s agent.

“And it came out kinda like confetti.” Cube, if your skeet looks like confetti, stop rapping and call a damn doctor!!!

This is deep, insightful reporting. But if I’m looking for something to change my (full disclosure: LAL fan) mind about Boston sports being dominated by racist shitbags, I’m bang out if luck, aren’t I?

Why is Tucker acting like an alien trying to avoid detection?

Jesus! Thank you! Romani are not a free pass to racism!

Nah, no tats.

Goddammit, do you know how hard it is for a guy to clean up after his ovaries explode?

BTW, as someone whose Kinja handle was almost SteadyMobbin, great username.

Hand to heart, I though t this was a response to a comment I made about Streetfighter 2, Championship Edition, angrily telling me that I should’ve said SFII Turbo Edition instead.

Pappkörn. I-glacis.

I...

And Overwatch players are far less likely to scratch their junk while playing.

Prolly Tim Tebow for the second one, and signing Tim Tebow for the first.

An anigif is a good substitute for an emoji (if you’re not looking to hire Sir Patrick Stewart to be in your movie, apparently). That’ll do.