Schmidt is the best part of New Girl, with Winston and CeCe being the second and third. Seriously, they could get rid of Jess and Nick's plotlines and the show would be way better for me. Oh, and more Nadia would be great. :P

Hay 'feminine product' makers. The day when I could choose my cycle meant I could choose to lose your products. Fer real. My whore pills are giving you the bird. And if I ever stop my whore pills, I'll be retreating back to cloth pads or other reusable forms of menstrual products because I'm getting crunchier in my…

Robbie Williams does it better, Courtney. But, it's a valiant effort.

This would be a great film for Toni Collette to spearhead. What, no one else heard this in a Muriel-esque voice? :D

I'd like ad agencies for these health concerns to make a campaign targeted solely around portion management for all. Skinny, fat, in-between: here's a normal serving. This is the nutritional makeup. Put the power of choice back to the consumer. Let them make informed decisions. If they prefer the taste of a Pizza…

10:41, but it's New Order and they get away with everything.

Miley, I'mma let you finish but I'm so glad my entire precocious awakening/breakdown of epic proportions was not broadcast to anyone who was willing to turn on the TV or the computer back in 1996. That's all.

If you need me, I'll be over here in perma-facepalm.

You take that back! You know that cheap ass Kohl liner looked amazing on us. :(

I think HGTV needs a show called Drunk Estate Hunt where a bunch of snarky people slam bad real estate photos while bombed. And the capper of the show is someone goes home with a bad house they've bid on while drunken. Oh yes.

I still remember my first salaried job. Myself and a male employee of equal education and experience both get promoted to assistant manager. He made the mistake of letting me know he was earning $5000 more per year than me. I had more hours, more responsibility, never came in sick and worked weekends/holidays. When I…

I basically liked the part where she said "I made myself the VP of game dev and I'm taking next week off" and the men rolled with it because they got blinded by a stereotype costume.

This could be better but it won't be better and I'd only watch it for the quips from the women roles, anyways. I strangely expected…

I'll place it in this context from my family: "Well, it's not like you have a demanding career!" "You are naturally good with children/elderly/people!" "You're not married yet so you have a lot of time!" "Your other sibling can't tolerate the sight of bodily fluids"... and I'm not close to my mother. I took care of…

Steady on, Vera Drake. Steady on.

It's bad enough she got called out by a nun for being heavier than the other kids. It's bad enough she had a heavy adult doctor tell her mom something was wrong with her AND that her mom was a bad parent for her kid being fluffy. The WORST part of all is her mom being bullied by welfare administrators to send her…

Best date of my life occurred with my current guy. We spent a whole day at a rural property he owns and did a bunch of random fieldwork for hunting season. I'm not a hunter but he's really into the sportsmanship and the sustainable end of eating what you hunt. The thing that made it the best date? Sweating, getting…

Oh shit, that makes me all kinds of creeped-out-enraged. And that will get a bro decked, or worse, in my town of Houston. Not cool, sirs. Not cool.

George Carlin would have loved to have said some shit to this dude, right here.

Damnit Van der Beek. Damnit. Damnit. *dies*

I'm intrigued. I'm kinda impressed he doesn't seem to have stipulations on what the person looks like nor their own blend of crazy, so rock on you gentle naked tea guzzler of potential erudite fame.

You are, as they say, my people. Where the hell were people like you when I was crushing on the Dwarf back when it ran on PBS in 94'. :P My goodness, I swear I was the only chick in my high school who even watched PBS, never mind "you like this fellow? a dick head?".... I won't lie, the entire cast was my nerdy dream.…