He talks like someone who is reading, but trying really hard not to sound like they are reading. He modulates his voice with the emotion of someone speaking their own words, but does so in a repetitive pattern that is clearly artificial and is disjointed with the content of his speech. This is a widespread problem…

That was a question I always enjoyed answering, so long as it didn’t have 15 follow-ups. It showed that I knew the menu beyond just what’s written on the page, and I’d usually get a better tip for it (assuming the food came out tasting the way it should). Now, oddly specific or otherwise dumb questions, such as “Is it…

I don’t know, this looks like a tough one to recover from.

If you don’t see closeups of women’s butts in tiny skirts, is it actually Fast and Furious?

“Bo Beep” was my favorite typo.

Cars is an unofficial sequel to Maximum Overdrive and all the cars murdered the humans.

Some of the best Looney Tunes/Merrie Melodies shorts always have classical music.

Seeing as I’m disabled, I’m going after Steve Martin as he’s been an old man since the 1970's.

You’re a dead man...

*checks birthday*

Ric Flair?! God damn it. 

This isn’t aimed at your kid’s generation and that generation that was into Frozen, but all ages younger and that gen: 3-10 years old to get them hooked into the Frozen franchise.

My kids only a few months after the Frozen DVD was released had started saying “I don’t really like Frozen.”  I think the unprecedented popularity had caused them to think they’ve become too cool for it and honestly were probably engaging in some elementary-school hipsterism, as most kids tend to do.

The Fireman is okay, but it takes a lot from The Stand. But in the book’s defense it’s hard to have a horror novel in today’s world that doesn’t reference Stephen King. It definitely isn’t a horror novel, any more than Lord of the Flies is a horror novel.

So this headline made me believe for a moment that MS-13 have an official Twitter feed and this whole thing was actually a twitter beef that spiralled out of control so, AV Club, I’m feeling a bit burned.

Yes, it was a lesser apology but it was also more than you asked for. If you’d complained they would’ve done what it took to make you happy. But you didn’t complain so they’re not going to throw away money trying to make happy a customer who doesn’t seem to be all that unhappy with the inconvenience. What’s the…

Followed by Shrunk 3: The Search for Rick Moranis

/Tucks in Michael Brawley, gives him cup of hot cocoa, turns down the lights and puts Little Shop of Horrors in the VCR

great, another movie for rick moranis to not appear in despite me wanting it really badly.

Circus peanuts should be banned. The texture is bad enough, but the flavor is like something out of a Clive Barker novel. The same thing goes for the marshmallows (supposedly the “best part”) in Lucky Charms - both those and circus peanuts have the texture and sound of chewing on polystyrene foam - and it squeals as…

“Disney announces its PornHub killer!”