Lessee...

I would pay good money to see that. Someone make it happen.

As far as "greatest" goes, the best I've driven is an E39 M5. The car I had the most FUN in was a Formula Ford race car, but I wouldn't qualify it as the greatest.

This. Fleet managers like Crown Vics. Actual cops, by and large, can't get rid of them fast enough.

A stock tractor? Not psychotically up-armored, modified and equipped with enough firepower to overthrow a third-world government? Not an honest-to-goodness tank?

At this price point you're five grand past what a S54-engined 330ci should go for (which is most likely a better car and definitely has fewer question marks than this mashup,) and only a couple grand away from M3 territory, which is definitely a better car on every conceivable level. So, y'know, no thanks.

Current M cars are driven by rich posers. Same as it ever was. The vast majority of E30 M3s, much as our rose-colored glasses don't want to let us admit it, were sold to rich douchebags to drive down to the country club and try to impress their secretaries into the sack, and the statistic is no doubt even worse for…

And it is truly a wondrous thing. M5s, Quattroportes, AMGs priced so low you can almost afford to maintain them too!

Whoa... those sports-team-themed cars you see in sports-memorabilia shops are a real thing? That didn't need to happen.

So how long would it take for this to become a status symbol among the city's hoons?

Camel? Stunning and underrated.

John Player Special? Legendary, and with good reason.

Gold Leaf? Gorgeous.

I'll submit Lotus's entire Grand Prix history as the best racing livery. Green and gold? Timeless.

Weird to see that on a Porsche. That was one of my favorite NASCAR liveries back in the '90s.

Ahem... at Willow Springs (which is a real race track with turns and all,) with Randy Pobst at the wheel, the Toyobaru twins were about a second slower than a 2013 Mustang.

OK, let me guess... you're from Hell?

I couldn't, in good conscience, leave it in anything close to that condition. It's nowhere near driveable, and it deserves better.

Also there's Scott Speed. Don't know if they're any relation.

Contrary to popular belief, I do not believe that Fon Portago died in the 1957 Mille Miglia. Secretly, he lives on. He is.... the most interesting man in the world.