Hi, guys. Reppin' the 1978 ATS HS1.

How about we just make it really damn hard to get a driver's license, so that you actually have to prove that you're competent to operate a two-ton lethal weapon in public and have the good sense not to do retarded things with it before we unleash you on the populace?

I really, really wanted a 928 when I was twelve.

Dear 1970 Mustang coupe:

Well... there's also former pro wrestler Bill Goldberg. He's got 25 or so mostly stock muscle cars, including a Hemi 'Cuda convertible, a 427 Cobra, a very tastefully customized Roadrunner Superbird, and the surviving '70 Mustang Boss 429 "Lawman."

Not a Camaro fan at all, and the wheels could lose a couple inches... but not too heinous, all things considered. Misdemeanor at worst.

Jay Kay's Miura?

Y'know, lose the Batman tardery and the Bieber association, and that actually looks kinda boss...

Jalopnik Hive Mind: it's bigger, but lighter. Am I supposed to be happy or not?

It's like a 1 Series and an RX-8 had a baby.

They see you trollin', they hatin'....

Successfully changed a flywheel and clutch on an E39 M5 (twice... long story) and have it running better than ever.

Successfully changed a flywheel and clutch on an E39 M5 (twice... long story) and have it running better than ever.

Clearly. He's one of the Jaloppiest of us all.

Nibbled. It was a picture of a Marauder.

It's not worth winning if you can't win big.

Nope, Daisy Duke's a brunette and that's that. I will not accept Jessica Simpson as such. Of the options, I'll take the direct-to-DVD sequel Daisy, April Scott.

They see you trollin'.... they hatin'....

The name alone makes this the winner. It'll have some trouble with the Feats of Strength, though.

Totally behind the times, indeed. I'm debating whether the uptight middle-management D-bag's ride of choice is Audi or Infiniti these days, but it definitely isn't BMW.