If the smell of cigarettes, Folgers and Walgreens smell alike Drakaar had a physical representation, it would be Sean Penn. No, Sean, that Altoid isn’t helping.

I can barely remember to take my pills to help stop gout flare ups.

“I’d bite off the Beatles, or anybody else. It’s all one world, one planet and one groove. You’re supposed to learn from each other, blend from each other, and it moves around like that,”

Amy Schumer just pooped a little.

Do flat earthers consider him an ally or enemy?

Driving the wrong way?

Every weapon is semi-automatic save for cannons and muskets.

How strong is your Icloud password?

Raise your hand if you saw the pic and said, “NOOOOO, not Harvey Keitel.”

Shells?

It reminded me that I need napkins.

I shot the clerk?

Counterpoint:

If it were a real 6x6, wouldn’t the middle tires have a locking hub? I’m not a 6x6 expert.

When you’re a warg, you get to do “the stranger” every time.

Somehow I’d managed to put that deep into the recesses of my mind.

All this needs is a “why do they call it an XBOX 360?” and some Thunderfury, Blessed Blade of the Windseeker linkage and it’ll be WoW trade chat from 6 years ago.

Damon is preparing his second most everything wrong with white people article as we speak.

If I had to guess, the dog was a Newfoundland.

Only if I’m giving the hands up, palms toward the skies gesture for “what the fuck are you doing?”