Also, Kevin Spacey appears at news conference wearing a kilt.

Except I don’t have money for some fancy automotive alignment brick. Let alone two of em.

Do you wanna be imprisoned in the Phantom Zone?

Absolutely. Would’ve had made it far more educational. We had a guy and baby to practice on. The baby dummy freaked me out. Probably because I could only think that I never want to have to perform this on an infant.

I remember long ago taking CPR/First Aid when I was going to be a lifeguard. The instructor made it clear you very well may have to remove a woman’s bra to locate the sternum/proper hand placement. He made a point to tell us that people seeing a woman’s boobs would be the last thing she would care about in that…

“Halloween prank that got out of hand.”

Nice try, Hamilton.

How long have you been sitting on the ‘Highlights’ reference just waiting for a Galant?

Get off the cross, Harvey.

My friend got gonorrhea because she wore her bathing suit while riding a tractor.

Hmm. I never would have thought my social skills were peaking on Sunday night when I’m debating whether or not I need pants on to run my garbage cans to the curb for Monday pick up.

• “I’m glad to see Butters still hasn’t learned proper urinal etiquette.”

Realistically, would anyone willingly sign Kaep now? Not because of his stance on issues or even his possible skill set, but because it would be inviting a disaster of a media circus? Hell, it’d be a shit show inside a clown car inside a circus at this point. Who, seriously, would want that kind of headache?

His friend grabbed the flag from Goober McRacistfuck and tugged on it. There was no attempted stabbing. I watched the video. There was no defensive action there. And if this goes to trial a jury will see it too. His lawyer did him no favors.

Harris needs a new lawyer.

Don? Don Henley? Is that you?

I heard Lorde watched a guy watching a guy drown and then sang this to him at a concert.

THIS is a racist seal.

My crystal ball indicates in two to three days the black student who did this as an “art” project will be very contrite.