Sounds like your mom.

Wouldn’t it be amazing if the Honda City Turbo and its Motocompo scooter were featured on Jason Drives? Hmmm...

“Folks, I know extortion. I have done all the best extortion. Yuuuuge sums of money extorted.”

Accurate.

Can we remind ourselves of the fact that every single thing that the Clinton campaign, real journalists, honest pundits, and everyday people warned that would happen with trump as president has in fact happened and continues to happen.

Oh I’m so over people blathering on about wanting outsiders in government. I’m finishing a degree in public administration, and it makes me crazy that wide swaths of Americans think it’s beneficial to have someone in office that knows absolutely nothing about the field or profession. It’s like saying ‘GE should really…

Gawd! That was one of the most uncomfortable interviews ever and solidified my deep hatred of Simmons.

I’m gonna buy this jag so I can pick up some cougars!

He should have Czekaj’d himself before he Wzekaj’d himself.

When some of the more scientifically-minded staffers tried to argue their case to Bianca Moebius-Clune, they just found themselves going around and around in circles and getting absolutely nowhere.

If it doesn’t decimate its own rear end first.

Now the shit pudding can hit the fan - if the sale of his hedge fund to the Chinese collapses, it proves his appointment was motive for a Foreign Corrupt Practices Act violation. If the sale goes through , but for one cent less than the previously announced $90million, it proves the same, because he’d be accepting…

Wait a minute. You write for Jalopnik and you’re telling me that you’ve never seen the gloriously bad Cannonball Run II?!?

The term “coupe” dates back to the era of the horse-drawn carriage when it was used to describe a conveyance with an enclosed seat for two behind an open driver’s post.

How about someone punch him in the dick?

Wow. Remember when Senator Warren was censured for having the temerity to read a letter from Coretta Scott King on the floor of the Senate, because she’d insulted Sessions by doing so? They could not abide that breach in decorum due to a senator.

That's why I only buy used Donks. Guaranteed to not have flood damage.