No offense to your mom but a frozen turkey for 30 would take days to defrost anyway. 

I was house sitting and came down with what we called my “stomach thing.” Debilitating internal pain for what seemed like no reason, which meant no one quite believed me, including doctors. I made spinach dip for my family dinner before the pain was too much for anything but the fetal position. Tried to tell my mom on…

Retired based on residuals from those comic-a-day desk calendars and selling tons of collections to kids like me back in the day, I think.

Potatoes do have a wonderful flavor. WHEN YOU ADD FUCKING SALT!!

Thankfully, I don't mind solo holidays anymore

At least until dogs start texting on their cellphones.

My father died on Thanksgiving Day twenty years ago. Thanksgiving dinner didn’t happen that year, and neither did Christmas. We were very close and it was very traumatizing.

Disastrous meal #2- for one reason or another, most of my friends and and family either had to work, or were out of town for the holiday. I decided to take myself to Denny’s and have meal there. The group at the next table noticed I was alone and proceeded to make fun of me until I cried. The server cussed them out…

And then it gets out of hand...

Better driver than cats.

I LOVE Daughter of Time. I’m so glad someone else knows it exists.

Actually, there is a line of scholarship that believes Richard III is innocent of the deaths of his nephews and would actually have nothing to gain by murdering them. This is explored at great length in the great Daughter of Time by Josephine Tey. Spoiler alert: History was written by the victors aka Henry Tudor aka…

God I love these smart, educated, confident, professional unflappable women. Bugger the ‘hot’ models, ‘influencers’ and all the Kardashians. This is the greatest reality show.

In this case will he get his own brand of beer? (Or maybe brand of coke, he sort of looks like he’d be a coke head, but I’m just glad he’s not running for president...)

I listened to it on my way to work and it was... titillating. For real though, I don’t know why I keep coming here for substantial impeachment updates and continue to feel the same disappointment when met with nothing. I was hoping that Dr. Hill fell within the parameter of “stick to lady stuff.”

I invite her to sit on a fluorescent lit Metra train to the south side, next to a woman with a bad perm, blue eyeshadow and a fur coat chugging down a tall Coors light... while looking at her reflection in the window. Bags under eyes, in a wrinkled blazer and street sludge splashed up her legs from the wet ground.

Ahem. Fiona Hill embarrassed Rep. Nunes in public and told him to stop using Russian propaganda to mess up an investigation.

It’d be something to hear Johnny Carson do a monologue on the lawyer, Ed MacMahon. His sidekick wouldn’t stop laughing, I’m sure.

Right, except Billy was just an embarrassing dumbass as far as I can recall. Hunter Biden is a whole nother level of yucky.