I’m seeing the beginnings of a horror / romantic comedy / farcical tragedy movie right here.

Since I’m a Celtic type guy, my last two Wrong Number Calls went something like this:

Of course the real tragedy here is that Her Majesty’s constabulary are still fingering the collars of young people for partaking in marijuana. Usage of which is a wholly invented crime perpetuated by those disgraceful former colonists, the Americans.

If there’re any anime movies that could be easily remade as a live-action movie with minimal CGI, it’s Your Name, Perfect Blue and Paprika.

How do you know I’m not actually 193 years old so they just look young to me?

These are the best kind of ‘golden couple’.

Kinja knows.

Yeah, let’s face the facts.
Dropping a MOAB to kill ISIS militants is like exterminating an entire culture because they’re sort of living somewhere you want to own, or annexing an island chain (or two) because the people living there are weird and different and refuse to work for free, or vapourising thousands of…

My mother threw out my 2000AD collection when I was 12. It was the first 100 issues. I kept them neatly stacked and tucked away in a drawer but to her, they were ‘just old comics’.

“...groomed by her daddy...”

True enough but this is like the ‘Old Money’ vs the ‘Nouveaux Riche’ argument.

Rage-strokes from reading the headlines too many times in an hour?

Compliance is for the compliant.

When Kate Bush was 19 she was a superstar with ‘Wuthering Heights’ - but also - she’d been writing amazing music for two years before that. Her songs and music grew from her classical music training and she incorporated her love of dance and theatre into her videos.

To be honest; I can’t tell you how I really feel about Donald Trump.

All of that Zombie culture over the last few years has trained me well. Whenever I walk into an office, canteen or meeting room and realise that I’m amongst Brexit supporters, Le Pen or Orban fans or even people (in Europe!) who still think that Trump “just needs more time to fix things”, I check my exits and check my…

He’s a revolting old rotten fucking lying shitbag bollock-head AND he’s a spineless shitstain, a stupid sack of gibbon shit, a greedy sumphole and a failed experiment in teaching morals to medical experiments.  

Is your little brother dead? Accidents can happen to little brothers, you know.

You’re one of those kids who doesn’t know what calling someone ‘Mac’ means.