Wait, what?

#NotAllJezebels

it's like they already knew there would be jizz jokes, and they just preempted us all by being like "yeah. they're BALLS. with MILKY WHITE STUFF. MUAHAHAHAHAHA."

See milk icing doesn't gross me out, because you can make icing with water, which is inferior bullshit icing, or milk. I do think it's weird they feel the need to call it that. It's like calling basic cookies "flour cookies."

Yassss oils! I swear by rose hip seed oil, which is only like 7-8 dollars off Amazon. It absorbs quickly and feels amazing. I take my makeup off with coconut oil, but will try castor oil sometime.

So how often/how you do it is going to vary based on your particular skin type, and it will probably require some trial and error to figure out exactly the right way for you.

You wouldn't be if the end result was your job description. And your salary was millions of dollars.

Ooooo I like Alba's sea moss moisturizer. Since it has SPF I put it on after I put on all my other skincare products, but before my makeup. It gives your skin such a nice glow.

HAHAHAHA i love that she wants us to believe for one second that her own cut-rate beauty line has ANY PART in her routine. A+ for businesswomaning!

Not gonna lie, I'd definitely try $500 face cream if I had the money. There HAS to be a reason. (Even though Nivea is actually a great dupe for la Mer's famous moisturizer, and everything I've ever read about expensive face stuff says don't bother.)

Done right and with a light hand, it can rejuvenate it. The problem is that many want to look 15 years younger rather than 5 and that's where the problems start.

I know what she means about rotating and research. I have a stable of moisturizers I rotate with the seasons, all of which I've carefully done my homework on. Sounds silly but I take pride in what I put on my face, knowing about it, and taking care of myself that way. Not so good at take care of myself in other ways,…

you forgot $1mil crystal oxygenated coffin

That contour kit just came out last year and Kim has been contouring forever, so I doubt that's what she's been using forever. That said, that kit has great reviews, so it may be worth a shot! They also just came out with a cream contour kit, which I'm waiting for them to restock so I can get my greedy paws on it.

DUDE.

She forgot:

"a texture that is rich yet generous, melting and impalpable."

I just bought fancy $9 rose water witch hazel and thought that was excessive. :|