Roxanne! You don’t have to put on that red hat.

I mean, I’m pretty sure a bigger reason is that the Pats won it 15 years ago.

I actually hoped he would retire over this. Because even though I am a hypocrite who still watches and follows the NFL religiously, I am basically rooting for every player in the league to retire at all times and hopefully save themselves from a life of misery.

Give the guy a break. He was obviously distracted by the weird ghost lamp floating next to him.

Cops are bad, bitch

I stand by my oft-repeated opinion that anyone trying to get you to read Moby Dick is upset that they wasted their own time, and just want to watch someone else suffer.

Hey, class traitor, are you getting paid for defending Amazon on message boards, or just doing it for free?

When you label human beings as "illegal" you are indeed quite racist. The bigger problem is you're too fucking stupid to realize it. 

You are not an intelligent person and no one cares that you are afraid of brown people.

I've been praying that when Dick Cheney finally kicks the bucket it's on camera so I can re-use this caption.

There should be a short dash and a long dash

mike trout changed his name and is with the brewers now?

Saying “be careful at an ETHNIC restaurant” is exactly being racist. Not, “in all the restaurants I’ve worked at has had this issue, be careful with. . .” This person is making a generalization about an ethnic group when they’ve had a marginalized experience in total.

Um, are there defined roles like that for hetero couples?

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a player who gets butthurt more often than Bumgarner.

I guarantee Bumgarner has said “so much for the tolerant Left!” at least once in the past three years.

I’m not calling it a fucking euphemism. I’m saying that Democrats began to use the term “pro choice” instead of “pro abortion” because they were terrified of scaring away middle Americans with the term “abortion”. I’m not sure why people are so fucking confused by what I’m saying but I’m not a writer, so it happens.…

It is absolutely terminology that was conceived as a response to the pro life folks, but go ahead and die on this morality hill that only exists because of that very movement. Play right into it. 

All that "pro abortion" means is that you believe that people should have safe and legal access to abortion so congratulations, you're fucking pro abortion.