I bet they could beat the Browns

Pictured: LeBron James (r) preparing to end the life of Bobody Nurfict.

Jeezus, that’s good mimicry. Like, A++ level stream-of-Trumpiness. How can you unhinge your mind like that, and is it hard to return to a linear timeline afterwards?

So one day, this old lady calls me—by the way, I met her later, very good looking for her age, not a pound overweight, very beautiful—she tells me the portions are too small. And I tell her, “That’s a terrible shame. That’s really a shame. I know Dave Thomas. I play racquetball with him all the time. He cheats all the…

Trump may be a liar, but let’s not forget that he is also a complete moron.

This is...SnortsCenter

a mentalist (just a made-up term for a magician)

Yeah, not the firing I expected to wake up to this morning.

“J-E-S-U-S!”

“It’s totally unfair!! I was trying to talk rationally with them but they basically turned.......their.....back.....on.........

I’ll grant the lady this much: by backing up at the end, she produced the first evidence I have ever seen of reverse racism.

Neiko Thorpe and Mike Tyson are not stadiums. They’re bipeds.

3/10. Below average troll attempt, but not completely useless since it made me chuckle.

I giss he got gud

Ask yourself 2 questions.

Are we sure she actually petted the dog and wasn’t just examining its suitability as a future coat?

Let’s not miss the most important part of this story: His Peyton Manning (18) Colts jersey has Marvin Harrison (88) sleeves.

Obviously you, since you cant spell JERBS! correctly!

Because hating melanin is a terrible skincare regimen.

When I started working (many years ago) my department formed a fantasy baseball league, which was led by one of the top bosses.