Long-ass post more appropriate for Gawker than Jalopnik? Of course. But since so many other posters took it upon themselves to politicize something as completely non-political as this episode of C.I.C.G.C, then fuck it, I decided I would as well.

I thought this was pretty cool, even though I don’t agree with his policies or politics and generally consider Barack Hussein Obama to be a total fucking ass-clown, and a failure.

Still not convinced Cooper is “virulently racist”. Used a horrible word, sure. But, he’s been an elite ( if you’re in the NFL for any significant time, you’re elite compared to the @1.4 million high school and college players) player all his life, basically surrounded by black guys. I don’t know how he could be…

Manning: Are you sure the NFL doesn’t test for this stuff? I don’t want to get in trouble.

Certainly Mrs. Manning would have been able to afford to have it prescribed and administered to her by her physicians rather than buy it black market and self-administer.

The Triple A’s are also an alias used by the Miami Marlins.

Miko....That’s....That’s not how birds work at all.

Or they end up crashed in a lake, like this lambo

Car based not-particularly-utilitarian 4x4 runabouts?

Pontiac, it would be years before the hideous fast roof suv became accepted.

Since you felt the need to call me out, I would definitely watch a wooden boy plug away at a frightened but cooperative garden gnome.

Apropos of nothing, a donation with “no strings attached” is also Pinocchio’s term for climaxing during unprotected sex.

Not liking things because they’re hipster is the ultimate hipster.

One of things I'm forever greatful to him is the $2m he donated to the UofM women's and children's hospital where my son was born prematurely. He got great care there and to top it off Woodson won his Super Bowl ring a few weeks later.

Wow time sure does fly. I remember sitting on my couch, young, unmarried, jobless watching him win the Heisman. Now 18 years, 7 pro bowls, a Super bowl ring later, I’m sitting on my couch, old, unmarried, jobless, reading about his retirement. Life sure does come at you fast.

Your Kinja is also above-average.

Swing and a miss...am I doing this right??

Panthers wielding bats are pretty intimidating. Far more so than the dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark they shoot bees at you!

This is unacceptable by Carolina. Trash-talk is fine, but once the baseball bats are introduced it becomes a blatant act of WAR.