I never thought I’d say this, but I’m pulling for A-Rod to pass everybody. Fuck it, I want A-Rod to hold the career records for homers, RBIs, hits, and literally everything else. I want Rodriguez to start pitching and win a fuckload of Cy Youngs.

It’s like the Ozzie Guillen quote about AJ Pierzyncki: “If you play against him, you hate him. If you play with him, you hate him slightly less.”

“This perverted, pantsless, hairy mascot was the face of a historic professional sports franchise.”

I can’t be out here buying barns all higgledy piggledy.

“Father?”

The BMW i3 wants its tires back.

Lucky gal.

Are you new to pooping or something?

Hearing “SEC” uttered, Dan Gilbert immediately bolted from Quicken Loans Arena.

Well, you do have to respect his work ethic. He only murders during work breaks, and then goes right back to work as if nothing had happened during the break — I know I’m not that committed to my job.

The video seems to have been a direct parody of this commercial, which is itself a Dirty Dancing spoof:

Dick Bavetta called a foul on Vlade Divac on the play.

Maybe the blinker fluid leaked all over it and caught fire.

Overboost regulator was probably faulty. Probably hit 60psi on the onramp and popped it.

I’m guessing it was actually a faulty turbo

That sounds ambitious by Chrysler standards.

Chrysler plans to completely phase out the carburetor out by 2018.

This and the ever decreasing rear visibility requiring assists to even park.

In-car Wifi/4G.